Guy looking out window on train: Oh! Those are the bike trails I wanted to tell you about. See how they are separate from the road there, then they join back up. They go all the way downtown.
(short lull in conversation)
Woman: So, I'm really proud of my mom for being sober…
Guy, cutting her off: Look! There's the bike trail again, going under that bridge!

Portland, Oregon

Asian NY tourist girl: We should totally go to Hawaii!
Asian NY's sister: Yeah, one of my friends has a place there!
Asian N tourist girl: Can you ask him if we can crash at his place?
Asian NY's sister: I'll see what he says!
Asian NY tourist girl: Oh, but what's the currency there?
Asian NY guy: Are you blonde?
Asian NY tourist girl: Why?

Bar
Tokyo
Japan

Professor, in middle of lecture about DNA: If I'm sick, I'm not going to give any money to the goddamn medical… Well, never mind. I'd rather go to Thailand and blow it all in one good go… Unlike women with the breast cancer gene, you think a 20-year-old man is going to go to a doctor and remove his prostate? No, he'll say “I'll give it a run, arrrgh!”
and parents can sequence a fetus' genes! They say “you know, I don't like that combination, let's abort little Bobby!”

Tufts University
Medford, Massachusetts

Chick to friend: Not only are you racist, you're musically racist.

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Girl to another: I don't think you're supposed to call 911 for chicken nuggets!

Women's Bathroom
UMass, Amherst

Science teacher: We'll be learning about standard temperature pressure, also known as STP.
Student: STDs!?
Science teacher: No, STP! But you're all very good at STDs.

Perth Modern School
Western Australia