What Else Should I Put on My Resume?

Very loud drunk woman: No, I don't shoot darts, but I'm good at stabbin' people!

Fairborn, Ohio

Overheard by: Monika

Posted on November 15, 2014
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Ohio, Threats, Violence, Women

You Have to Earn the Right to Stay in Paradise, Pal

Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!

Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on November 5, 2014
Ass, Backdoor, Drunks, Guys, Maryland, Pride, Relationships, Restaurants

Ah, One of Those Parties

Drunk teen: … Then it just turned into one zombie fellating the other zombie…

Wisconsin

Posted on September 12, 2014
BJs, Drunks, Wisconsin, Zombies

I Make Most of My Profit on the Overseas Release

Drunken wedding guest to videographer going from table to table: Zach*, I want to wish you and Jenny* many years of happiness, and I hope you get as much pleasure out of fucking her as I did.
Other guests at table: Erase that! Erase that!
Videographer: Are you kidding? This is like gold!

Roslyn Jewish Center
Roslyn Heights, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry