Education

Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Tutor to quiet class: Are you normally this talkative? (silence) Rightie-o, then. You know, when I went to university I practically didn't say a word for four years. It was good.

University of Western Sydney
Australia

Girl in anthropology class: So… Islam says that men can marry four wives, but women can only marry one husband. Whatever.
Professor: Let's try to maintain some cultural relativism!

Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: nina

Bearded man, teaching math: …which is gonna give you nine over nine over four, which is horribly ugly. Does that terrify you greatly? It should.

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Akuaku

Scholar: I fucking love going to finals wasted!

University of Colorado
Denver, Colorado

Boy: There are cleavages on the top of page 221.

High School
San Diego, California

Professor: All the crazies kept moving from the East Coast to the west until they hit California. Some moved back to Oklahoma, but the rest of us just hope there's an earthquake and California floats off into the Mediterranean to become a homeland for Palestinians.

Carroll College
Waukesha, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Abbey

Quiet guy, interrupting conversation: Um, Ben, did you ever listen to Van Halen while you were at school?
Ben: Uh, no.
Quiet guy: Yeah, neither did I.

Geelong
Australia

Overheard by: Bemused

Dry lecturer to class: Given the grades you got in the test, you should really be listening to what I'm saying. (pause) That's rather bitchy, isn't it? It's my way of saying: “shut the whatever up.”

University of Auckland
New Zealand

Little boy: My teacher doesn't wear a bra!
Mother: Did she tell you that or did you just notice?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire