Feminist student, about discussion: No, this is completely wrong! We shouldn't be congratulating men for not having affairs!
Teacher: Yes, that's exactly right! I mean, it's like when we congratulate black people for staying out of prison!
(stunned silence)
Kendrick School
Columbus, Georgia
Overheard by: MJH
Guy with soul patch: Don't German people always drive at 200 miles an hour all the time?
Girl in front row, sarcastically: I think you mean 200 kilometers per hour.
Guy with soul patch: It doesn't matter, they're the same thing!
Professor, calmly: If I go crazy and start a killing spree, you'll be the first one I get.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.
University of Michigan
Overheard by: getout
Crying girl to friend: And my paper had all these, like, negative comments on it a-a-and then she pulled me aside and compared my paper to people who take English as a second language.
Virginia Commonwealth University, Virginia
Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.
University of Wisconsin
Transformers-loving college student: I mean, there’s just so much symbolism in that movie — take the fact that Optimus Prime transforms into a truck. He’s, like, Everyman!
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I never thought of it that way
Girl, waiting for Italian professor: How can she know Italian well enough to teach it when she can't even speak English that well?
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Doesn't Speak Italian
Girl #1: You’ve written “2007” instead of “2008” on your exam sheet.
Girl #2: Yeah, so? It was a better time, ok?
University of Guelph
Canadia
Wide-eyed girl #1 exiting class: Did he just–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #1: But wha–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –I feel dirty.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #2: Do you… Uh, wait.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Did we just get mind-fucked?
Wide-eyed girl #2: I think so.
Arkansas State University
Jonesboro, Arkansas
Overheard by: What the hell just happened?!
Professor: Okay, so everyone get your papers out. If you don't have your papers here with you then you can just leave. (class mumbles in disgust) That's right, take the walk of shame. Like you just got laid at a frat party, take the walk of shame.
Miami University
Florida
