If I Show You a Boob, Will You Forget This Lecture Ever Happened?

Moral and religious education teacher, describing opening scene of Gridiron Gang: So the movie opens, right, and you hear all these guns going off, and everyone's gangbanging everywhere…
Students: (silence, then loud raucous laughter)
Teacher: Oh, Jesus Christ… I mean they're shooting loads at each other… Oh god, no…

Centennial Regional High School
Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: amused

Posted on July 29, 2015
Canadia, Default, Education, Movies, Murder, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Students, Teachers, Words

As I Proved Conclusively in My Doctoral Thesis

Professor, looking at picture of optical illusion: Here…we have…a bunch of lines.

Northwestern Univeristy
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 28, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Illinois, Sensory experiences, Teachers

…No Offense If Your Parents Are in Prison, Keisha.

Feminist student, about discussion: No, this is completely wrong! We shouldn't be congratulating men for not having affairs!
Teacher: Yes, that's exactly right! I mean, it's like when we congratulate black people for staying out of prison!
(stunned silence)

Kendrick School
Columbus, Georgia

Overheard by: MJH

Posted on July 27, 2015
Education, Georgia, Infidelity, Race, Students, Teachers

Why Does Everyone Keep Telling Me That?

Guy with soul patch: Don't German people always drive at 200 miles an hour all the time?
Girl in front row, sarcastically: I think you mean 200 kilometers per hour.
Guy with soul patch: It doesn't matter, they're the same thing!
Professor, calmly: If I go crazy and start a killing spree, you'll be the first one I get.

George Washington University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 25, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Education, Stupidity, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

I Believe Fingerpainting and Paste-Eating Are Down the Hall

Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.

University of Michigan

Overheard by: getout

Posted on July 24, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Education, History, Idiots, Michigan, Stupidity, Teachers

Everybody from the American South Takes English As a Second Language

Crying girl to friend: And my paper had all these, like, negative comments on it a-a-and then she pulled me aside and compared my paper to people who take English as a second language.

Virginia Commonwealth University, Virginia

Posted on July 23, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Girls, Gripes, Virginia

So Failing You Would Be Against My Religion

Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.

University of Wisconsin

Posted on July 21, 2015
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Teachers, Wisconsin, Words

And Megatron Is Totally My Ex-Girlfriend!

Transformers-loving college student: I mean, there’s just so much symbolism in that movie — take the fact that Optimus Prime transforms into a truck. He’s, like, Everyman!

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I never thought of it that way