Five-year-old girl to ten-year-old sister: I don't know what you're so worried about. As long as it's not you who throws the first punch, the principal won't yell at you. That's always what happens with me.
Taco Bell
Plainview, New York
Overheard by: Tina
Girl: I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't do anything. All I could do in my last class was draw a unicorn!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Christina
16-year-old girl #1: What's Zionism?
16-year-old girl #2: The belief that Jewish people should be able to have a homeland in Israel, I think.
16-year-old girl #1: So it's like a religion?
16-year-old girl #2: No, it's a political movement.
16-year-old girl #1: Wait, so it's a religion?
Sacramento, California
Teacher: Okay. Quick review: which Greek gods did we cover on Friday?
Student, seriously: Hermaphrodite? Herpes? Asbestos?
High School
Michigan
Dude on cell, excitedly: Yeah, dude. Everything. We even learned how to make food out of pizza sauce!
University of Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Miss Behaved
Guy: Cause, like, Stalin was a pretty crazy dude, right?
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Just don't call me dude
Professor: The boy had all of the mathematical truths in his head and I was just pulling them out through his nose or something.
Swarthmore College
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania.
Teacher holding VCR remote control: I keep hitting play, this stupid thing won't work. Must need new batteries.
(changes batteries)
Teacher: Damn thing still won't work, you'd think they would buy machines that work, how are you supposed to learn with such crappy materials?
Student in front row: Ummm… Is that the tape on top of the VCR?
Teacher: Goddamn it!
Manchester, New Hampshire
Female Brown student #1: That lab class is so stupid.
Female Brown student #2: Yeah. Harry Potter had the best labs.
Female Brown student #1, sighing: I wish this was Hogwarts.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Sadie
Student, raising hand: I can't read…
Professor: I'm sorry.
San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: The Only One Laughing?
