I Don't Know– Are You Thinking Of Asking Me to Prom?

Sane-looking girl: Okay, so let's say that your boyfriend died a while back, right? Then he comes back as a zombie, like a real walking corpse. But he doesn't want to eat your brains or anything, he just wants to graduate high school and be your boyfriend again so he can go to prom with you. So, do you take him back?
Boy: Um… Has this actually happened to you?

High School Cafeteria
West Virginia

Posted on May 31, 2010
Bars & Clubs, Death & dying, Education, Girls, Guys, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Weirdness, West Virginia, Wishes, Zombies

Where Kids from Band Camp End Up: Explained.

Female violinist, after conductor walks past: Do you ever want to slap Dr. Muller*'s ass? Cause I almost just did.
Female cellist: He has a doctorate in orchestral conducting.
Female violinist: And an ass I want to tap right now.

College Orchestra Tour Bus
Clive, Iowa

Posted on May 31, 2010
Ass, Bus, Coworkers, Education, Iowa, Violence, Wishes

This Is Long Island, Bitch!

Composition professor: So, by the way, this is how your do the top of the paper–title, dash, name, just like this paper here. I don't want a four-page paper which is three and a half pages long, with a half-page heading.
Student: But it's standard MLA citation practice for that heading to be like that.
Professor: Fuck MLA.

Hofstra University
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: I hate MLA

Posted on May 5, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Education, Insults, New York, Students, Teachers

It's Like Using Sarcasm on a Child, Right?

Father to son spending too long to wipe off boo boo with blankie: Do you know the definition of insanity?
Four-year-old son: Yes.

Mount Vernon, New York

Posted on May 4, 2010
Comebacks, Dads, Education, Kids, New York, Words

The Day Bernice Wet Her Desk

Professor, eyeing student in class: Watch out, snuggie-girl. I'm on to you!

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on April 26, 2010
Education, Louisiana, Teachers, Weirdness

Though Usually I'm Being Flogged at the Time

Student to teacher who just made a mistake finger-spelling on board: Finger!
Teacher, erasing board: If I had a nickel every time someone said that to me.

Hampden, Maine

Posted on April 21, 2010
Body parts, Education, Maine, Masturbation, Sex, Students, Teachers, Words

…So Everyone Got That Wrong on the Quiz.

Professor: To shake hands you have to make sure the wedge of your hand fits in the other person's wedge, and that your skin touches, and then give it a good two or three pumps.

London
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on April 15, 2010
Canadia, Education, Hands, Stupidity, Teachers

On the Plus Side, We Got Free Flavored Condoms!

Doting, nervous mom: Honey! How was your first day of kindergarten?
Blond little boy, sounding disappointed: My teacher is really thrilled about safety.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/383693709/play-time-is-over.html

Overheard by: does that mean scissor juggling is out?

Posted on April 3, 2010
Education, Kids, Moms, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions

Frankly, You Should Be More Worried About That Burrito

Five-year-old girl to ten-year-old sister: I don't know what you're so worried about. As long as it's not you who throws the first punch, the principal won't yell at you. That's always what happens with me.

Taco Bell
Plainview, New York

Overheard by: Tina

Posted on March 31, 2010
Education, Kids, New York, Restaurants, Violence

Usually I'm Able to Draw a Whole Unicorn Galaxy

Girl: I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't do anything. All I could do in my last class was draw a unicorn!

Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Christina

Posted on March 30, 2010
Colleges & Universities, Education, Georgia, Girls, Stupidity

Education