Employees

Employee to customer: Excuse me, my boss wants to know if you’re a transvestite.

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/04/its-mixed-up-muddled-up-shook-up-world.html

Female flight attendant on cell: She was the ugliest woman I had ever seen in my life! But I swear she was my guardian angel. (sighs)

Seatac airport
Seattle, Washington

Wholefood store employee: I don't know, just when you think the world couldn't get any worse, suddenly there's a basil crisis.

http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/

Overheard by: Raptor

University administrator: I’ve been thinking that I should start my own cult. It doesn’t have to be anything sexual. It could involve squirrels.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289741685/i-do-not-like-where-this-is-going.html

Overheard by: count me in!

Client: So, how will we work it out if I want a custom tattoo designed?
Tattoo artist: Have you ever been shopping with your girlfriend where you just sort of follow her around for a while and point stuff out until you figure out what she wants?
Client: Yeah…
Tattoo artist: It's just like that, except you're the girlfriend.

Americana Tattoo Parlor
Augusta, Georgia

Overheard by: Clarissa St. Tacocrotch

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we're stopped here because Amtrak's having signal trouble. They're working on the line, but don't know how long it'll take. We could be here five minutes, we could be here fifty minutes.
Loudmouthed commuter: I don't believe this–the same fucking thing happened on Monday!
Even louder commuter: Why the fuck you gotta use language like that?
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, let me remind you it is not the conductors' fault the train is stopped. We want to go home too, and we're stuck here on this train with you.

NJ Transit

Overheard by: Graceful Space

Man to salesperson in hippie bookstore: Hi I'm looking for a children's book about how chemicals and global warming are destroying the earth.
Salesperson: Oh, sure, it's right over here!

The Bookshelf
Guelph, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: The zoe

Security guard: What do you do with a mailbox? You throw it in the middle of the woods!

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Elaine

Ice cream lady behind counter: Spartacus?
Man running to get ice cream: I am Spartacus!

Oberweiss
Oak Park, Illinois

Tour guide: Where is your group going next?
Tourist: The Vatican.
Tour guide: Oh? You are lucky, the Pope is not there.

Florence
Italy

Overheard by: Burlabo