The Immaculate Conception Story Has Gotten Skewed with Time

Frustrated waiter: It doesn’t matter if it was real or not. What matters is that it came out of her ass!

Cass Corridor
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: fox news

Posted on July 5, 2022
Ass, Default, Employees, Gripes, Michigan

Because We’ve Dipped Their Stingers in Smallpox

Library staff: Ladies and gentlemen, Mugar Library is closing in five minutes. However, the first and second floor will be open for all-night studying purposes. If you are on the third, fourth, fifth or sixth floors you must relocate or leave immediately. We are releasing the killer bees. I hope you’ve been vaccinated.

Boston University Library
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Burkey

Posted on July 5, 2022
Employees, Massachusetts, Threats

Is It Too Late to Start Over?

Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady: What?
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady oh, I thought you said something about “the last of the Apaches.”
Customer: That film was called The Last of the Mohicans.
Shop lady: What film?

Glasgow
Scotland

Overheard by: somedaftlassie

Posted on June 26, 2022
Clients, Employees, Movies, Offers and requests, Questions, Scotland, Shopping, Stores, Words

When Life Gives You Avocados…

Checker, as customer places avocados on the belt: Are these lemons?

Grocery Store
Centerville, Utah

Overheard by: JC

Posted on June 23, 2022
Clients, Employees, Food, Fruit, Questions, Stores, Stupidity, Utah

Also the Story Behind the KFC Double Down Sandwich

Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?

Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on June 15, 2022
Employees, Food, Insults, Oklahoma, Stupidity

In the Glass Box That Says “Break in Case Of Emergency”

Guy, walking into Planned Parenthood: Hey, I just locked my keys in my car that's just around the corner. Can I borrow a coat hanger?
Girl working front desk: Uh, do you know where you are?
Guy: No.
Girl working front desk: Well, we keep 'em in the back!

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Morgan Roddy

Posted on May 9, 2022
Default, Employees, Girls, Guys, Indiana, Offers and requests, Questions, Weirdness

Would You Mind Taking a Picture Of Us With It?

[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!

Vons
Ventura, California

Posted on May 5, 2022
California, Customers, Default, Employees, Food, Offers and requests, Sensory experiences, Shopping, Stores, Weirdness, Wishes, Women

She Does Whatever the Easter Bunny Tells Her

Customer, looking at strange photograph: Wow, that baby sure does have a lot of hair!
Cashier: I told my wife not to put a wig on that baby, but she just wouldn't listen.

Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on April 10, 2022
Alabama, Customers, Employees, Hair, Weirdness

The Ones I Do Have Thankfully Have Easy-to-Remember 1-900 Numbers

Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can't transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn't matter. I don't have any friends.

Austin, Texas

Posted on April 9, 2022
Cell phones, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Texas, Weirdness

Notice: Headline Delayed Due to Vomit on Keyboard

Employee: Did you know it is impossible to stuff three ounces of hamburger in half of a mouse? I tried for, like, 10 minutes.

Wildlife Rehabilitation Center
Minnesota

Posted on January 17, 2022
Employees, Gossip, Minnesota

Employees