Employees

Receptionist to executive assistant: …so in conclusion, I got peed on…by a taxi driver…who I dated.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/316536671/and-it-didnt-work-out.html

Overheard by: Ian

Student: I have that song “Ring My Bell” in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It's not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don't know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song “In the Navy.”
Advisor #2: That's not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.

El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: Disco Dan

Waitress: You were a hungry bunch of monkeys, weren’t you?

Fredericksburg, Virginia

Reporter, at man's house after he hit someone at a kids' soccer game: Sir, how do you feel about your behavior?
Man, coming up to the door holding bowl of macaroni and cheese: I am ashamed. I slap my own face.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you're in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don't kill nobody!

Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada

Overheard by: Philly Joe

Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!

California

Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it…I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.

overheardatyale.com

Overheard by: overheardatyale

Girl, getting wash and cut: Then I was walking around for a few months without an elbow.
Stylist: Wow!
Girl: So finally in July they put my elbow back in.
Stylist: Well, that's good.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: porkchop on a stick

Frustrated waiter: It doesn’t matter if it was real or not. What matters is that it came out of her ass!

Cass Corridor
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: fox news

Library staff: Ladies and gentlemen, Mugar Library is closing in five minutes. However, the first and second floor will be open for all-night studying purposes. If you are on the third, fourth, fifth or sixth floors you must relocate or leave immediately. We are releasing the killer bees. I hope you’ve been vaccinated.

Boston University Library
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Burkey