If They Nag, You Can Shoot 'em

Clerk: I love women. The only thing prettier than a woman is a deer.

Post Office
South Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Posted on November 8, 2009
Animals, Beauty, Compare and contrast, Employees, Gender issues, Post offices, Vermont

Sorry, we don't do special orders, that's Burger King

Woman who's too old to work at McDonald's: So, you want cheese on your sausage, egg and cheese?
Customer: Umm… okay, sure, yeah.

Centereach, New York

Posted on October 15, 2009
Clients, Employees, Food, New York, Questions, Stupidity, Wishes, Women

And I Lied and Said, “No.”

Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet… just to see what it feels like.

Maine

Posted on October 15, 2009
Employees, Feelings, Hands, Maine, Poop, Sensory experiences, Weirdness

Ironically, They Were Dancing to “Walk Like an Egyptian”

Hairdresser to client in salon: I really like Egypt, you know? I feel like I have a connection to Egypt, like I was there in a past life. Like, I was watching this show on the History Channel about Egypt? Or some place? And they have three religions there? The first one was this religion where everybody kisses this wall? Mmm-mm-mm-mm. They were making out with this wall! They loved that wall. And then the next religion, god told Abraham to kill his son? What kind of crazy religion is that? And then the third religion was all these people standing up, and bending down.
Client: They were probably Muslims. They were praying towards Mecca…
Hairdresser: Uh huh. And I said to my boyfriend, “that's good exercise.” I was going to watch more, but Dancing with the Stars was on.

Collingswood, New Jersey

Posted on September 24, 2009
Clients, Employees, Geography, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Murder, New Jersey, Parenting, Religion, TV shows, Weirdness

What If It's an Acquired Taste?

Woman #1: Hey, check this out.
Woman #2: What? Gross! Is that bacon? Is there really bacon in there?
Woman #1: Looks like it.
Cashier: I haven't personally tried it, but everyone who has says it's really good.
Woman #1: I bet it is!
Woman #2: No way. I mean… that's just too weird. Bacon? In chocolate? That's almost like bisexuality: I want to try it, but, I don't.

San Francisco, California