Drunk man outside curry restaurant, face down on pavement, screaming: I've shit myself! I've shit myself! I've shit myself!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Asian guy: If I had an uncle, I’d totally go to his house.
Derby
England
Overheard by: Me too.
Overexcited boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Disinterested mum: Sure.
Overexcited boy, holding toy: Look! I'm holding my winkle. And I'm peeing. I'm peeing all over the drinks. There's wee everywhere!
Disinterested mum: No, there isn't.
Kingston-Upon-Thames
England
Overheard by: Ben
Grad student #1, receiving a detailed explanation of the theory of evolution: Well, you seem to know much more about the subject than I do…
Grad student #2: I have creationist parents.
Oxford
England
The Big Issue seller: Big Issue! Get your Big Issue! It's big! …it's an issue!
Camden Street
London
England
Woman on cell: So what should I do? Tap dance all over it?
Skipton
England
Overheard by: Fredwina
Very drunk 20-something in kebab shop: I'll have… a large chips… with ketchup… and mayonnaise. (pause) A quarter pounder cheese and bacon burger with extra cheese and bacon. Two pieces of fried chicken… with chili sauce… and a ten-inch pepperoni pizza.
Sober friend #1: Fucking hell, mate, that's a lot of food…
Sober friend #2: Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?
Kebab shop guy, in heavy Cypriot accent: Yeah! He's on a fucking American diet!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Girl to boy: I thought you lost your voice when you dropped your laptop?
Queens Park Community School
London
England
Man to patiently smiling girlfriend: Well…uh…I make quite a *mean* tuna fish curry. Uh…*or* a sardine curry. Uh…and have been *ridiculed* for it.
Clifton
Bristol
England
Overheard by: Sarah
