Fat girl to thin girl pushing pram: Skinny men have skinny cocks.
England
Overheard by: Betsy
Fat girl to thin girl pushing pram: Skinny men have skinny cocks.
England
Overheard by: Betsy
Teacher, to students: … And it’s not like he’s going to need that testicle…
Poole Grammar School
England
Chav, showing off in front of group of underage girls: Yes bruv, you don't even know, there was this duck, yeah, and I snapped its neck, innit! It was swimmin' around with its head loose making stupid noises!
Slightly older chav friend: Breds, you're talking shit, man. Number one, if you snapped a duck's neck it wouldn't still be swimming. B, I was there, remember, that fucking duck bit you on the hand, bruv and you screamed like a woman and ran away.
Cambridgeshire
England
Overheard by: Tim C
Girl on cell: … And he ate the whole ear.
Swan Walk Shopping Centre
Horsham
UK
Male lecturer to friend: Well: in my defense, it wasn't my dildo.
Lancaster University
England
Asian guy: If I had an uncle, I’d totally go to his house.
Derby
England
Overheard by: Me too.
Overexcited boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Disinterested mum: Sure.
Overexcited boy, holding toy: Look! I'm holding my winkle. And I'm peeing. I'm peeing all over the drinks. There's wee everywhere!
Disinterested mum: No, there isn't.
Kingston-Upon-Thames
England
Overheard by: Ben
Grad student #1, receiving a detailed explanation of the theory of evolution: Well, you seem to know much more about the subject than I do…
Grad student #2: I have creationist parents.
Oxford
England
The Big Issue seller: Big Issue! Get your Big Issue! It's big! …it's an issue!
Camden Street
London
England
