Excited girl exiting bathroom: That toilet smells like America!
The Angel Restaurant
London
England
Overheard by: Nics
Excited girl exiting bathroom: That toilet smells like America!
The Angel Restaurant
London
England
Overheard by: Nics
Guy in pub, having just arrived at the table where his friends are: I have had the strangest day, and I'm not even drunk yet.
Canterbury
England
Overheard by: Noel
Large American girl: So I asked him, “what's your problem?”
British girl: What did he say?
Large American girl: He said I was too fat.
British girl: Oh…
Large American girl: Motherfucker doesn't realize that big is beautiful.
Drunk British guy behind them: That's a whole lotta big! Chub, chub, chub!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Guy holding another in headlock and punching him in the face, shouting across road to immensely fat girlfriend: Charl! Get that fucking taxi! We gotta get home or the babysitter'll want extra pay.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Guy: I'm not sure that rocking up and offering cunnilingus is going to help my cause.
Girl: Worth a try, though…
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Imaginative little boy to brother: That's evil's house, and then death comes walking out of it and he's like, “I hate my job.” And then he accidentally taps his wife on the head and is like, “noooo!”
London
England
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Drunk #1: I'm telling you man, these fucking guys raped a fish.
Drunk #2: What fucking guys?
Drunk #1: In Africa. They raped a fish. That's why the fish have to wear condoms, so they don't have fish babies with bulging human eyes.
Drunk #3: How the fuck did we get from talking about his (gestures towards drunk #2) sister's hairy vulva to fish rape?
Drunk #4: How the fuck would you even rape a fish anyway?
Drunk #1: Gut it and wank with its corpse?
Drunk #2, knowingly: Or freeze it and push it up your arse.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Hot girl: Wait, we just had sex?
Hot guy: We just finished having sex like five minutes ago, do you not remember any of it?
Hot girl: Nope.
Hot guy: Actually, we just finished like thirty seconds ago…
Oxford
England
Muffled male voice, through the wall, at the end of an increasing crescendo of sex noises: Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats hoooooooooo!
Hotel
Nottingham
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Student girl in beige Uggs: So, who was that guy you were with last night?
Student girl in brown Uggs: Ugh, well I don't actually know his real name, I just call him Captain Kirk, because he kinda looks like him, y'know?
Leeds
England
