What the Fuck Is Going on in Leamington Spa??

20-something drunk girl, pointing at traffic lights, to friends: Shhhh! We have to be quiet! This is where the dwarf lives!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on July 8, 2015
Animals, Drunks, England, Girls, Sensory experiences, Weirdness

An Equation That Changes After Puberty

Mom to young daughter: No, you don't get a lollipop just because you're wearing underwear.

Dulwich Village
London
England

Overheard by: Didn't get a lollipop either

Posted on July 4, 2015
England, Food, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Undies

Also Why Children Love the Berenstein Bears

Teen girl to teen friends: I wish I was mixed race–not really black. I mean, you're brown all year round.

Nottingham
England

Overheard by: Johnny

Posted on June 30, 2015
England, Friends, Girls, Race, Stupidity, Teens, Wishes

Getting Fucked Also Temporarily Disconnects One's Gaydar

Hippie teenage girl: He's such a screaming campy queer, I thought he was gay–but he's not! At least, he doesn't seem gay when he's fucking you. He does all the rest of the time, though.

Hither Green
London
England

Overheard by: Jess

Posted on June 29, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, England, Girls, Hippies, Sex, Sexuality, Teens

…And If You Have Any Train-Driving Experience, Please Report to the Front Car.

Conductor: Welcome on board the 4:15 service to Wolverhampton, calling at Smethwick, Sandwell and… Oh god, my head… (mic cuts out for a while) Sandwell… and Dudley, and Wolverhampton… (breathes heavily, deep sigh, mic cuts out again)

Birmingham to Wolverhampton Train
England

Overheard by: xSJBx

Posted on June 23, 2015
Conductors, England, Headaches, Public transportation, Train, Weirdness

That Hoe!

Weird emo girl: I've still got bruises from the first time she hit me with a wheelbarrow!

Bridgwater College
Somerset
England

Posted on June 15, 2015
Colleges & Universities, England, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Violence

NewsFlash: Englishman Has Sense Of Humor. Film at 11.

Pilot, after riding tarmac for 20 minutes: Ladies and gentleman, this concludes our first two miles of our trip from London-Heahtrow International to Newark International. We do hope you enjoyed our lovely tarmac. The flight will commence once air traffic gives the all-clear for takeoff.

Heathrow International Airport
London
England

Overheard by: tired traveler

Posted on June 4, 2015
Airports & flights, England, Pilots, Public transportation, Stupidity

Seems Rather a Moat Point

Middle aged man on phone: Maraud my castle?

Bath
England

Overheard by: Clara Lee

Posted on December 6, 2014
England, Guys, On the phone, Questions, Violence

When Ancient Warriors Are Born Into Modern Military Families

Mother: And some armies have the sniper and he just picks them all off. Pkk pkk pkk.
Three-year-old with chicken pox (over still talking mother): I'm Spartacus!
Five-year-old without chicken pox: No, I'm Spartacus, you're Spartacus!
Mother, still talking: And then the detonator gets attached and once the fuse goes, it all goes boom!
Three-year-old: I'm Spartacus!
Five-year-old: You're Spartacus!

Flight between London and Liverpool
England

Overheard by: nadine

Posted on December 2, 2014
Airports & flights, Default, England, History, Kids, Maladies, Moms, Women

Do Shut Up and Finish Your Propofol, Darling

Seven-year-old boy: How did Michael Jackson die?
Mother: He had too many tablets and his heart stopped.
Seven-year-old boy: I'd like that to happen to Justin Bieber.

Hertfordshire
England

Overheard by: Corbin

Posted on November 27, 2014
About celebrities, Death & dying, England, Kids, Moms, Questions, Wishes