Girl #1, reading a text: Oh my god, now he says that when I get home he's going to eat the shit out of that apple pie.
Girl #2: Does he know we've been using apple pie as a euphemism for sex all day?
Girl #1: No…
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Girl #1, reading a text: Oh my god, now he says that when I get home he's going to eat the shit out of that apple pie.
Girl #2: Does he know we've been using apple pie as a euphemism for sex all day?
Girl #1: No…
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Little girl: Where’s Ben*?
Father: He’s in heaven, honey.
Little girl: Still?!
Preschool
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Girl to friend: So on the way here, I joined the mile high club…by myself!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Boyfriend to boyfriend: Yesterday Hughes came over and, well, exploded my brain, basically. I was like “ahh!”
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing on the inside
Professor, discussing sperm's passage to egg: “Come and chase me!” That's what the woman says.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Angry girl: I don’t want any sluts at my table!
Friend, calmly: Well, I guess I should move, then.
Angry girl: You’re not a slut. You just make… odd choices.
Tennessee
Overheard by: Vastly Amused
Sewing machine shop customer #1: How often should I get my machine serviced?
Sewing machine shop customer #2: Gosh, I've never had my machine serviced!
Sewing machine shop owner: You are not a lady!
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2011/06/quotebook-january-may-2011/
Overheard by: Raptor
Girl #1, discussing her boobs: I have lemons! What do you have?
Girl #2: Shit, I have watermelons.
Girl #3, grabbing her own boobs: I have cantaloupes.
Girl #1: Why are you grabbing your cantaloupes?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Guy to friends: In his backyard were six tortured dogs. (pause) And those dogs were us!
York University
Canadia
Overheard by: that guys cat
Girl to friend: If I'm 80 and still alive, I'm going to eat the whole world.
South Bend, Indiana
Overheard by: Carole
