Euphemisms

Instructor: I may have to open my kimono and give him access to my jewels. (entire class chuckles)

College Lecture
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Mandi

Professor to girl walking into class with a large box: Wow, you have such a big package! (entire class starts laughing) I am so getting fired today.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: miao miao

Girl talking to two people about to take a nap: I'm going to colonize your bodies when you sleep.

Dorm, UCSC
California

Overheard by: Derrick

Punk dude: I have the ability to decide who deserves a soul.

Manitou Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Nathan Brauner

Guy #1: If I had to pick between icy and creamy, I'd go with a little icy.
Guy #2: I disagree, and let me tell you why.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Emily

Professor to 20-something assistants, about sighting them at a bar: So, I thought I saw you the other night, but I wasn't sure because I thought that all you do is type.

UC Merced
Merced, California

Overheard by: Seriously?

(outside the university library)
Guy #1: So you scored.
Guy #2: And I know the holocaust inside and out.

Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Bimbette shouting from crowd: Why does everyone want me to eat shit out of their mouths today?

Michigan Tech
Houghton, Michigan

Guy to another: Dude, she's way out of your league. She's in the Majors and you're a tee-ball coach with questionable photos on your computer.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/07/yay-for-creepy-sports-metaphors.html

Overheard by:

Flight attendant, concluding pre-flight safety spiel: For those of you who paid attention: Thank you. And for those of you who did not: Good luck.

International Airport
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Eric Dean