30-something white lady: I just shove it down my pants. But it's not beer, it's Captain Morgan!
BART Escalator
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Hott Bi Luv
30-something white lady: I just shove it down my pants. But it's not beer, it's Captain Morgan!
BART Escalator
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Hott Bi Luv
Professor: Some people’s minds are so open that their brains fall out.
University of St. Thomas
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: AnnArrogance
Exasperated mom to young daughter (referring to a stuffed beaver): Quit messing with that beaver! (pause) and that's the last time I ever want to say that sentence!
Ikea
Frisco, Texas
Overheard by: Becca
Girl #1: I mean, there's condoms for free in the student center! Why don't you guys use protection?!
Girl #2: Sigh. I don't know. I think because I'm a Gemini.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Who has this conversation when I'm sitting right next to them?
Dude carrying Subway sandwich: My ass? No, I wouldn’t expect a girl to be looking at my ass.
Chick carrying Subway sandwich: Oh yeah. Women will look at your ass. But they can’t check out the other thing.
Dude: Well, under certain circumstances . . .
Chick: No, there’s nothing equivalent. There’s no cleavage shot.
Dude: A girl slapped my ass at the gym the other day.
Chick: Oh yeah. That’s right. I have slapped lots of asses.
Howard and New Montgomery
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Cleavage Shots All Around!
Dude: It’s not that I live with my mom, it’s that my mom is my roommate…
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Sarah
Tall blonde: That’s just cause you’re short… No, don’t worry! You’re adorably short. You’re small and compact for my convenience.
Short brunette: I’m fun-sized!
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: in the spirit of Halloween
Girl #1, reading a text: Oh my god, now he says that when I get home he's going to eat the shit out of that apple pie.
Girl #2: Does he know we've been using apple pie as a euphemism for sex all day?
Girl #1: No…
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Little girl: Where’s Ben*?
Father: He’s in heaven, honey.
Little girl: Still?!
Preschool
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Girl to friend: So on the way here, I joined the mile high club…by myself!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
