Don't Think About This Too Long, Dear Reader

Loud girl: Would you rather have cheese or oral sex?

Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on December 5, 2021
BJs, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Girls, Massachusetts

Fuck You.

Hippie wannabe: Mmm, this tastes so much better than a non-solar-powered smoothie.

Dickinson College Earthfest
Carlisle, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Future Unemployed

Posted on December 4, 2021
Food, Hippies, Pennsylvania

Ask Kevin Bacon

Concerned-looking boyfriend: Yes, but it might not be kosher.
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: I don't think it's an issue.
Concerned-looking boyfriend: I dunno… If I eat pork… And you suck me off… Does that mean my cum is non-kosher?
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: Sweetie, I told you, I'm Jewish, but when it comes to jizz I just don't care.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on November 29, 2021
BJs, Couples, Cum, England, Food

What Flavor? Soylent Green Tea? Rocky Rhoda?

Girl: Look, if I buy you an ice cream, will you stop talking about cannibalism?
Guy: Maybe.

Edinburgh
Scotland

Posted on November 22, 2021
Food, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Scotland, Weirdness

…Learned That the Hard Way.

Girl: Oh my god, I love their deep-fried mac and cheese balls!
Boy: I got some fried mac and cheese balls for you.
Girl: Tommy, if you tried to dip your balls in a deep fryer, they would probably fall off.
Boy: No they wouldn't.
Waiter, passing by quickly: Yes they would!

Cheesecake Factory
Kettering, Ohio

Posted on November 18, 2021
Balls, Baristas, Clients, Comebacks, Food, Ohio, Restaurants

Chives Are the Respectable Republican Cloth Coat of Herbs

Customer: I'll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don't have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah.

Bangor, Maine

Overheard by: just wanted a coffee