Customer: I'll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don't have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah.
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: just wanted a coffee
Punk walking down dairy aisle: Dude, don’t say that here…
Friend: What? Am I gonna offend the cheese?
Safeway
Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: Roosebeck
Girl on cell: Yeah, last semester the professor had this obsession with mayonnaise. It was freaking everyone out.
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Tori
Scruffy man with garbage bag to stranger: Want to buy some chicken breast?
Blue Line Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Girl: I want a squirrel.
Friend: I want a cheeseburger.
UT
Austin, Texas
Son: Mom, I’m hungry.
Mom: Well, honey, I have some food left in my stomach from this morning. If you want, I could throw it up for you? That’s how much I love you.
Rome, Italy
Overheard by: naz
College kid: Excuse me, what is the difference between these potato pancakes and a potato latka?
Grocery stocker: Um, I don’t know what a latka is, so I couldn’t tell you.
College kid: A Jewish potato pancake.
Grocery stocker: Well, those potato pancakes are German.
College kid: I wonder if a German Jew would eat them.
Sendik’s Grocery Store
Grafton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Arthur
Left on voice mail: I wanted to talk to you about these cupcakes. They are making me a little nervous. Call me.
Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: friend of the cupcake king
Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don't want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
