Gripes

Father to crying son holding Spider-Man card: That damn Tobey Maguire is ruining my life!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/04/with-great-power-comes-great.html

Overheard by: artwork

Guy, as girlfriend walks ahead of him into store: Don’t ever get a girlfriend, man. Fucking lunatic bitches! … She can suck a dick, though.

Gas station
Sacramento, California

Large woman: Your dad kicked me in the head!
Scrawny boyfriend: What?
Large woman: And then you kicked me in the head!

Fredericton, New Brunswick
Canadia

Overheard by: Marg

Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, ‘You’ve been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!’
Girl #1: … So, how did she find out?

College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Addison

Woman #1: Oh my god, they are closed, too!
Woman #2: What the hell?!
Woman #1: We are in a sushi crisis!

Woodfield Mall
Schaumburg, Illinois

Girl on cell: My life totally sucks right now. I went to an intellectual conference and people were saying smart things and I was asking myself, ‘Why can?t I say things like that?!’ And I?ve forgotten all essay-writing skills I learned in high school! Ugh, I am, like, totally ESL right now. Like, what am I doing with my life?! I’m not getting into law school, I’m not going to get a position at the UN… Ugh! I might as well get married to a rich Arabian prince!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/11/who-will-then-promptly-have-me-executed-for-tarnishing-the-uns-reputation-by-instigating-the-oil-for-weed-program-3/

Overheard by:

Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don't want to go?
Girl: I didn't say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I'm just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.

Quiznos
Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene

Five-year-old boy, calling to mother in bathroom stall: Mom, we need to talk about something.
Mom: Can it wait?
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mom: What is it?
Five-year-old boy: I need more credit. You don't give me enough credit for the things I do, and my feathers are simply getting ruffled by this.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Laughing

Queer #1: He punched him in the face right in the middle of Banana Republic.
Queer #2: That is so damn rude.

University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina