Teacher: It should be written in the dress code, ‘Girls with bouncy boobs need to cover them up.’ Seriously! These girls are one bounce away from getting tips!
Jackson Memorial High School
New Jersey
Overheard by: Diana
Teacher: It should be written in the dress code, ‘Girls with bouncy boobs need to cover them up.’ Seriously! These girls are one bounce away from getting tips!
Jackson Memorial High School
New Jersey
Overheard by: Diana
Chick: Oh my god, look at this baby! It is so ugly! I didn’t think babies were allowed to be ugly!
University of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me…?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don’t want to have to hear you yapping away–
Dude: –Why don’t you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car…
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You’re fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday…
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
Student: I’m so angry about having to pay for social security and all that crap when I’m never going to see it myself. Heck, my parents won’t even see it! They can’t retire until they’re like eighty. This country sucks! I’m moving to Iran.
Art studio, East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Teacher on cell, grading papers: On the whole, these papers have been disappointingly good.
Columbus Airport
Ohio
Overheard by: confabulation Nation
Grouchy mother to small child in stroller: I wipe your butt! The least you can do is share my drink!
Mall
Pennsylvania
Disappointed wife: Hi. I’d like to exchange these really nice-colored dress shirts for these really boring dress shirts. I had my husband try on the lilac, and it looked great. He said he would never wear it because it made him look gay. I said, ‘First of all, you’ll never be attractive enough to pass for a gay man…!’
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Express Customer
Angry girl storming out of classroom: My mama ain’t raise no adolescent!
High school
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Bre
Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik’s Cube. He’d probably eat it.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/he_doesnt_seem_to_be_ready.html
Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik’s cubes
Dude #1: Do you trim your pubes?
Dude #2: Um, what? No… Why?
Dude #1: I do…
Dude #2: Okay…
Dude #1: And I think I trimmed them too much…
Dude #2: And?
Dude #1: Well, now my dick is itchy…
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
