Kids

You're Too Kind, Madame

Little girl, in Arabic, as she sits in the train: Smells like cotton candy!
Mother, in French: Yeah, you're right, it smells like cotton candy. (to grandmother) Don't you think it smells like cotton candy?
Young black woman, sitting in the next row, smiling: It's me. It's my perfume.
Mother: Really?! What is it?
Young black woman: Vanilla and cotton candy.
Mother: Really? My girl told me it smells like the amusement park. At first I thought it was the cleaning product they used to wash the train floor. (pause) It smells really good.

C Train
Paris
France

Overheard by: BBM Tm

Bad Things Happen When Housemates Mate

Guy to crowd of housemates: See, this is the kind of toilet we want–it's rated to be able to flush one kilo of material at a time.
Girl: How many kilos does a newborn weigh?

Home Depot
Oakland, California

Overheard by: Alchemist George

Just When You Think Canadia Can't Get Any Cooler

Eight-year-old girl, incredulously: You slept with him?

Schoolyard
Canadia

Overheard by: awesomepossum

Don't You Mean “Fabulous”?

Five-year-old boy to mom: Does it feel weird to have a vagina?
Mom: Well, I've had one my whole life, so it feels normal to me.
Five-year-old boy: I wish I knew what it felt like to have one!
Mom: I'm pretty sure you'll be a member of the LGBT community anyway, so maybe you'll find out.
Five-year-old boy: What's LGBT?
Mom: You'll find out soon enough, honey.
Five-year-old boy: That sounds really cool!

Roseville, California

Overheard by: Nature vs Nurture

The Show Could've Used More Salt

Mother to child: Mary*, what was your favorite part of the show?
Child, eating pretzel: This pretzel!
Mother's friend: Of course it is.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Wait, Did You Just Say “Cock Clock”?

Guy #1: I hate Dylan*, he's such a cock clock, you should hear what he did.
Guy #2, first loudly then quietly: No, I've got a story for you! (mumbles story really quietly then gets loud again) So, I mean, it wasn't rape, she totally wanted it, she just happened to fall asleep in the middle.
Guy #1: I don't think this conversation is really appropriate at Burger King, there's kids around.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Well, We Will Be Running Around in Diapers Before We Know It.

Older woman: Want to go see the movie Babies tonight at 7:30?
Older man: Mmmmmmmmmmmm…
Older woman: It's too late for it to inspire us!

Coffee Shop
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Greg

Belinda Finds the Secret Of Happiness

Little girl on merry-go-round, addressing her horse: Go left!

Upstate New York

Overheard by: Coyote

Apparently You Can Be Too Casual

Gay guy in fake British accent: Isn't it funny how people who want babies so badly can't have them, and other people who have a casual fuck pop them out like Pez dispensers?

Panera Bread
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: Cristina

The Male Equivalent Of the Old Menstrual Cramps Excuse

Mother: Take off your backpack and put it on your lap.
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mother: Put your backpack on your lap.
Five-year-old boy: No! It will hurt my balls.

Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia

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