Maryland

Employee: She was my supervisor at the one daycare… Then they fired her, so now she works for the government.

Target
Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: absent

Guy to friend: So, when you shouted “god!” you really meant “whore”, right?

University of Maryland

Girl: So, while fixing the leak, you may discover something else?
50-year old mechanic, grinning and nodding: I am Columbus.

Auto Body Shop
Lanham, Maryland

Overheard by: Jen

Teacher to girl picking lint off her boobs: Pay attention, please.
Girl: I can't! I'm cleaning!

Potomac, Maryland

Mother to eight-year-old: Tommy*, get in the picture with your aunt Linda!*
Tommy*: You're hungover!
Mother: Just get in and smile.
Tommy*, indignant: She's not related to me! In what way, shape or form does she share my blood?!

Havre de Grace, Maryland

Girl to friends: He looked like a Mexican vampire, and it did not work for me.

Clarksville, Maryland

Overheard by: I can see why

Female student: It's a Wonderful Life… That's the one about the Holocaust, right?

Clarksville, Maryland

Overheard by: Jimmy Steward played Hitler

Girl #1, excitedly: Okay, this is where I leave you. I know you're going to forget all about this conversation when I go, but…
Girl #2, interrupting: No, no, I won't–I'm going home right now to google “demons” and “possession.”
Girl #1, walking away: Right, good. We're going to make this happen!
Girl #2, heading in opposite direction: Even if everyone else thinks we're crazy!
Girl #1, vehemently, from across the street: It's all down to us, now! We'll exorcise that demon if it's the last thing we do!

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Only if I can watch…

Woman on street: The only bad thing I've ever said to Michael is that he should go and die of a heart attack.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Lauren

Psychology professor at all-women college: Personality disorders are the people you end up married to.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Sabrina