Dad: What do you want for dinner?
Toddler #1: Shit!
Dad: Uh, you can’t say that…
Toddler #2: Shit!
Toddler #1: Shit!
Toddler #2: Shit!
Toddler #1: Shit!
Dad: Uh…
Grocery Store
Maryland
Serious philosophy teacher: Captain Crunch has been raped.
High School
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: clementine
Blonde teenager: Look at her. She's either a whore or a dyke.
Friend: That's why my dad doesn't let me drink Slurpees.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Dylan
Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!
Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Quiet girl: Girls are like, ‘Let’s play house,’ boys are like, ‘Let’s fight each other,’ and you put them together and you get domestic abuse.
Language in Society class
Maryland
Man #1: Are these seats taken?
Man #2: No, they are not, but I have to warn you — we both had Chinese food for dinner, so we are going to have some major gas in a little bit.
Man #1: That’s fine, we had Thai.
Man #2: Oh, then we’re even. Have a seat.
Consolidated Theaters
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: feeling a little gassy myself
Employee: She was my supervisor at the one daycare… Then they fired her, so now she works for the government.
Target
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: absent
Teacher to girl picking lint off her boobs: Pay attention, please.
Girl: I can't! I'm cleaning!
Potomac, Maryland
