Gay man: I find Neanderthals really attractive. If there were Neanderthals around now, I would be all over that.
Hyattsville, Maryland
Overheard by: prefers guys with smaller noses
Sorostitute on cell: Like, I don’t know, we hook up every now and then, and we talk… But, like, not about stuff.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Woman, paying for breakfast: I had to beat up my son for this five dollars.
Deli Counter
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Minivet
Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually “poop,” but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.
Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Greeg
Serious philosophy teacher: Captain Crunch has been raped.
High School
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: clementine
Blonde teenager: Look at her. She's either a whore or a dyke.
Friend: That's why my dad doesn't let me drink Slurpees.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Dylan
Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!
Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Quiet girl: Girls are like, ‘Let’s play house,’ boys are like, ‘Let’s fight each other,’ and you put them together and you get domestic abuse.
Language in Society class
Maryland
Man #1: Are these seats taken?
Man #2: No, they are not, but I have to warn you — we both had Chinese food for dinner, so we are going to have some major gas in a little bit.
Man #1: That’s fine, we had Thai.
Man #2: Oh, then we’re even. Have a seat.
Consolidated Theaters
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: feeling a little gassy myself
