Whiter? Is That Possible?

Girl: It's like Everybody Loves Raymond, but with white people.

Columbia, Maryland

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on June 25, 2019
Compare and contrast, Girls, Maryland, Race, TV shows

They Tend to Get Saucy

Supervisor to trainee: Don't be afraid of the tomatoes.

Safeway
Rockville, Maryland

Posted on November 4, 2018
Default, Fears, Fruit, Guys, Maryland, Weirdness

Yoko Ono in the 1970's: Encapsulated.

Girl wearing long, flowy skirt to friend: I just feel a deep connection with the lighting of this room. I'm a big fan of lighting.

Maryland

Posted on September 3, 2018
Bragging, Girls, Maryland, Stupidity

Sex, Death…

Punk chick #1: Well, it’s just… I’m confused…
Punk chick #2: It’s okay, it’s summer! There are a lot of confusing things in the air, like love… and pollen.

Maryland

Posted on August 17, 2018
Maryland, Punks, Stupidity

Granted, I Cut Her, but They Still Owe Me Ten Bucks

Gay guy: I told them not to have hip-hop night cause a bitch would get cut. And what happened? A bitch got cut!

Outside The Hippo
Mt. Vernon, Mayrland

Posted on August 13, 2018
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Dancing, Default, Maryland, Music, Queers, Threats, Violence

Someone Who Can Afford Better Than Macy’s

Little girl: Mom, those boots make you look like a hooker!
Mother: This conversation is over.
Little girl: Okay… What’s a hooker?

Macy’s, Marley Station Mall
Marley, Maryland

Overheard by: jd

Posted on May 30, 2018
Default, Fashion, Girls, Gripes, Kids, Maryland, Moms, Words

Who's Black and White and Back from the Dead All Over?

Black girl, holding up picture she drew of black Jesus: My hero is Jesus Christ.
White kid: Jesus isn't black.
Black girl: Yes, he is!
White kid: No, he's white!
Uncomfortable teacher: Now, now, let's just say Jesus is all colors!

Art Class, Middle School
Maryland

Posted on April 6, 2018
Black people, Education, Jesus, Maryland, Race, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Whiteys

Let’s Just Say I Felt the Earth Move

Queer #1: I bruised my pelvis once during sex. It was the last time I had sex with a woman. Remember?
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #3: I don’t know this story.
Queer #1: Well, to be more exact, I woke up to having sex with a woman. Or, rather, I regained consciousness to discover a woman fucking me. That was the same day as the bulldozer.
Queer #2: You don’t have to say anything else for this to be a perfect story.
Queer #3: Wait… A bulldozer?

Wine bar
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on March 30, 2018
Gossip, Maryland, Queers, Sex

Sometimes Over the Intercom at Work, Just for Fun, But That's It.

Girl in skirt: And so she was just sitting in the stall on her phone when I went in! She was having a normal volume conversation.
Girl in pants: Ewww. What did you do?
Girl in skirt: I mean, I peed. But reluctantly. It's not like I want to broadcast my bodily functions to everyone, you know? (pause) I mean I'm broadcasting them to you right now, but not over the phone.
Girl in pants: Right. Totally.

Rockville Pike, Maryland

Posted on March 23, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Maryland, Pee

So Put That Thing Away

Five-year-old boy to passing stranger: I ain’t yo’ baby’s mama.

College Park, Maryland

Posted on January 16, 2018
Gossip, Kids, Maryland