Five-year-old girl, happily: … And then I did it! I peed right in my pants!
Mom: Honey, you shouldn’t be proud of something like that. You should be embarrassed.
Five-year-old girl, even happier: Oh, okay! I’m embarrassed!
Whole Foods
Hadley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: velvin
Teen boy: Tell me something I don’t know.
Mom: I’m not your real mother!
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ashley
Chick: Hey, congratulations! I heard you was gonna be a father.
Guy: Yeah, she’s due in, like, three months.
Chick: Donna is gonna be so jealous. She wanted to be your baby-mama.
Guy: She still can be — I been waitin’ on that girl forever.
Green Line E train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: vangundy
Frat boy reading section titles: “Self-help, cooking, fiction.” …is fiction science?
Barnes & Noble
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: almost threw a book at him
Guy to girlfriend: Okay! I promise I won’t talk about the smell of your vagina ever again.
Boston, Massachusetts
Roommate #1, watching Celtics playoff game: Is this the final four?
Roommate #2: No.
Roommate #1: Wait, when's March Madness?
Roommate #2: Are you fucking kidding me? Die.
UMass Dartmouth, Birch Hall
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jason
Mom of small child, on cell: No, I don’t have any whiskey, but I have tequila.
Small child, pulling away: No, Mommy! Don’t kill me!
Cogshall Park
Fitchburg, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Why, why, why?!
Mom to young son: There's a doggie! Do you know what sound a doggie makes?
Son: Mooo.
Mom, distracted by shiny things: Uh-huh. (pause) Hey! Dogs don't say “moo”!
Target
Leominster, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Manda
Cop: It’s not a party ’til the shirts come off.
Hilton Hotel
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Neon
Three-year-old daughter, pointing at huge woman: Dada, she has a big booty.
Father: Sweetie, you don't want to talk about other people's booties.
Three-year-old daughter: But dada, she couldn't sit on our toilet. It is too small for her.
Father: Okay. (hurriedly moves out of the aisle)
Three-year-old daughter: Her booty is too big for pee and poop to come out. She makes a big mess and gets it all over! (father starts pushing faster)
Supermarket
Quincy, Massachusetts
