Never Stops Anybody, Just Makes ’em Feel Bad

Mom to little girl touching display: Honey, don’t do that! [Kid keeps doing it.] I said don’t do that! Do you want to go to Hell?
Little girl, scared: No.
Mom: Then don’t touch that.

Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: the girl behind the register

Posted on April 20, 2023
Kids, Michigan, Moms, Threats

Having a TV on Every Seat Is Pretty Damn Great

Six-year-old girl: Mum, remember when we went on that airplane?
Distracted mum: Mm-hmm?
Six-year-old girl: Was that paradise?

Train
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Wishing I could go holiday there

Posted on April 18, 2023
Australia, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Train

Didn’t You Notice Mummy’s Ominous Switch to the Third Person?

Mother weighed down with shopping bags: Mummy needs a coffee now, honey.
Six-year-old daughter: But Mummy, I wanna look at–
Mother: –Mummy needs coffee or she will die.

Greensborough Plaza, Main Road
Greensborough
Australia

Posted on April 4, 2023
Australia, Gripes, Kids, Moms

I Stowed It in the Crawl-Space with Your Dignity

Mom: I don't wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where's my sword?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: tab

Posted on March 30, 2023
California, Default, Guys, Moms, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

Tonight on The Real Single Moms Of New Jersey

Tough, burly, tattooed mom: C'mon, honey, you'll like it!
Tearful four-year-old boy: I don't wanna!
Tough, burly, tattooed mom: Everyone loves the beer store! (pulls boy into beer kiosk)

Collingswood Auction
Farmingdale, New Jersey

Overheard by: not EVERYONE

Posted on March 29, 2023
Drinking & drunks, Education, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting, Wishes

…Instead Of Carrying Around This Scale Model

Mother to toddler daughter: Would you rather I just say “testicles”?

Art Institute of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Brian

Posted on March 27, 2023
Balls, Default, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Women

I'm Too Tired to Hold My Sphincters Shut

Girl: We need to go steal more diapers from Target.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on March 23, 2023
Crimes, Moms, Parenting, Shopping, Texas

Without Menopause, We'd Have an Infanticide Epidemic

Grandmother, about tantrum-throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we'll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That's not what I meant.

Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang
Australia

Posted on March 12, 2023
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Kids, Malls, Moms, Old folks, Weirdness, Women

And I Haven't Been Mowed in Quite Some Time

Gay son: I need a sugar daddy.
Mother: You and me both.
Gay son: But I have a booty.
Mother, after long pause, and looking out the window: I have weeds where I once had grass…

Murrieta, California

Overheard by: I hope I don't become my mother

Posted on February 18, 2023
Ass, California, Compare and contrast, Moms, Money, Queers, Sex

And What Are We? Posers!

Mom: That’s Hollister. Remember what I told you about Hollister?
Toddler girl: Hollister.
Mom: Hollister is for po-sers.
Toddler girl: Posers.
Mom: Po-sers.
Toddler girl, giggling excitedly: Posers!

Garden State Plaza
Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Sar

Posted on February 9, 2023
Fashion, Glad the condom broke, Insults, Moms, New Jersey