Only with Two More X’s

Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!

Denver, Colorado

Posted on June 17, 2023
Colorado, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Moms, Money, Questions, Sexuality, Words

…If You Ever Want a Seat in the House Of Commons

Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.

http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/

Overheard by: Raptor

Posted on June 5, 2023
Advice, Feelings, Moms, Other sites, Parenting, Women

And You’re Too Young for Croquet

Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

Posted on June 1, 2023
Kids, Moms, North America, Parents, Texas, USA

Tragically, Many Kids Don't Recognize a Vegetable When They See One.

Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.

Wal-Mart
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kathyp

Posted on May 28, 2023
Kids, Moms, Offspring, Oklahoma, Parenting, Shopping

Remember Those Manners We Talked About? Use ‘Em!

Mom to little kid: Shhh! She can’t help it if she’s fat!

Wal-Mart
Tucson, Arizona

Posted on May 18, 2023
Arizona, Etiquette, Moms

We Can Bond by Watching the Footage Together Later

Mom: A 21-year-old girl from Oshkosh died today, but they aren’t saying how.
College daughter: A house blew up this morning… Well, a mobile home, actually.
Mom: And it killed that 21-year-old girl?!
College daughter: Well, no. They’re unrelated. Actually, I’m just trying to upstage you… But a house really did blow up.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Posted on May 16, 2023
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Moms, Violence, Wisconsin

Ah, the Little-Known “Elbows Off the Table” Amendment

Little boy: I don’t like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren’t my rules, honey, they’re America’s rules.

Austin, Texas

Posted on May 3, 2023
Gripes, Kids, Lies, Moms, Texas

And Perhaps We'll Hear the Pitter Patter of Tiny Sheets

Mother to teen daughter: And then you, me, and your aunt can mount the pillow like last time.

Wal-Mart
Augusta, Georgia

Overheard by: Annissa

Posted on May 1, 2023
Default, Family ties, Georgia, Memory lane, Moms, Stores, Weirdness

As I Told Your Father When I Proposed to Him

Mom to running, laughing child: Stop running! You can have fun when we get home.

Wal-Mart
Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: shannon

Posted on April 28, 2023
Advice, Default, Kentucky, Moms

Any of Them Could Win America's Most Smartest Model

Mom to child: Do you know what that is, honey?
Child: No.
Mom: That's a mannequin.
Child (giggling): It doesn't have a head!
Mom: That's right. None of them do!

Iowa City, Iowa

Posted on April 23, 2023
Body parts, Default, Iowa, Kids, Moms, Questions, Stupidity

Moms