Philip Pullman: Goddamn It!

[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?

Great Escape Theater
Illinois

Overheard by: The Surly Usher

Posted on July 23, 2023
Animals, Compare and contrast, Dads, Illinois, Jesus, Moms, Movies, Questions

You Don't Know What They're Made Of 'til They Get in Hot Water

Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?

Wyoming

Posted on July 19, 2023
Compare and contrast, Family, Food, Moms, Old folks, Weirdness, Wyoming

Explorers Are Born, Not Made

Child: Mommy, mommy, my hand smells like butt!
Mother: Why does your hand smell like butt, honey?
Child: I put my hand in my butt.

Department Store
Davis, California

Overheard by: Arlene

Posted on July 16, 2023
Ass, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Kids, Moms, Questions, Stores, Women

Do You Want Me to Divorce You, Too?

Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!

Salem, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Jenna

Posted on June 30, 2023
Family ties, Kids, Moms, Money, New Hampshire, Parenting, Questions, Shopping, Should have used a condom, Toys

Everything He Knows About Americans He Learned from Watching Roseanne Reruns

Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can't get on because the American will eat me!

Philippines

Posted on June 26, 2023
Asia, Fears, Kids, Moms, Parenting

Only with Two More X’s

Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!

Denver, Colorado

Posted on June 17, 2023
Colorado, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Moms, Money, Questions, Sexuality, Words

…If You Ever Want a Seat in the House Of Commons

Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.

http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/

Overheard by: Raptor

Posted on June 5, 2023
Advice, Feelings, Moms, Other sites, Parenting, Women

And You’re Too Young for Croquet

Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas