Moms

Little boy: Mommy! I want to get my daddy this card!
Mother: But honey, you don’t know what that means.
Little boy: Yes, I do! I do!
Mother: Okay, what does it mean?
Little boy: Pull my finger. It means… pull my finger! That’s what you do, right? You pull the monkey’s finger.
Mother: Um… Honey, you don’t know what that means. Here, why don’t you give Daddy this other card instead?
Little boy, crying: No! I do know what it means. I want to get my daddy this card! He would like it!
Mother, sighing: Okay, fine… But you don’t know what it means.
Little boy, happily: My daddy is really going to like this card! I just know it!

Fred Meyer
Springfield, Oregon

Mom of small child, on cell: No, I don’t have any whiskey, but I have tequila.
Small child, pulling away: No, Mommy! Don’t kill me!

Cogshall Park
Fitchburg, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Why, why, why?!

Mom to young son: There's a doggie! Do you know what sound a doggie makes?
Son: Mooo.
Mom, distracted by shiny things: Uh-huh. (pause) Hey! Dogs don't say “moo”!

Target
Leominster, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Manda

Four-year-old girl licking gelato off a tiny spoon: This tastes like electricity!
Mom: That's right, honey.

Piccomolo Gelato Shop
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: Meaggoo

Angry kid: Mom! I don’t want to go shopping!
Mom: We are not shopping — we are on an adventure!

Oshkosh, Wisconsin

Overheard by: I love adventures

Rich mother: Well, you'll just have to hold it! You can't go to the bathroom around here! They are positively disgusting, you'll die!
Little child, crying: Please, mommy, I need to go!
Rich mother: Don't you value your life?

Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: Alex Ello

Nine year-old girl: I want that shirt and you are going to get it for me. Any questions?
Mom: Many. Shut up and put the damn shirt back.

Target
Atlanta, Georgia

Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don’t understand your obsession with tights.

Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend’s childhood

Son: Mommy, why are you going through daddy's phone?
Mother: Because I love him!

Panera
Howell, New Jersey

Young girl in stall with mother: Mommy, what's that?
Mother to young girl: It's called pubic hair, sweetie…all women have it. When you get older, someday you will get some.
Young girl, mortified: Nooooooooooo!

Mall Restroom
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Monica