Tall adolescent: Peach sucks. Daisy's okay, but peach sucks.
Short adolescent: See, I've always been more of a toad fan. Even if he does look kind of like a circumcised wang.
Tall adolescent: Oh, you.

Missoula, Montana

Passenger #1 looking at map on screen: Oh, look — we’re over Montana right now.
Passenger #2: Montana’s in Canada! Cool!

Over Montana, British Airways flight

Overheard by: Confused Flyer

Dude #1: Dude, did you just call Jesus a fag?
Dude #2: I did.

Billings, Montana

Overheard by: he really did

20-ish girl: Where do you think is the best place to get molested?
Friend: Daycare?


Cheerleader: So, I had this problem with peeing and I visited a doctor.
Friend: What did he say?
Cheerleader: You can’t imagine… He wanted to see the effect, so I had to pee in front of him while he’s watching me doing it!
Friend: Wow. I would freak out if that happened to me.

Classroom, Montana State University
Bozeman, Montana

Overheard by: Awesome Naveed

Drunk hetero: You’re gay, he’s gay, so what’s the problem?
Drunk queer: He just threw up all over himself.
Drunk hetero: You take what you can get.

The White Front Bar
Philipsburg, Montana

Frat boy #1: Oh, dude, a ShamWow! (to friend at counter) Hey, should we get a ShamWow?
Frat boy #2, without looking at him: No.
Frat boy #1: But it's a ShamWow!
Frat boy #2: You're an idiot. (long pause) Fine, get the fucking ShamWow.
Frat boy #1: (excitedly runs ShamWow over to counter)
Frat boy #2: Fuck.

Pet's Mart, Montana

Overheard by: Sadie

Mother: I’m going to sell you to the zoo.
Child: No, sell me to Jesus!

Billings, Montana

Overheard by: Amber

Passenger #1: I broke up with my woman because she spends all her money on crack…she crazy.
Passenger #2: Ah, that's no good.
Passenger #1: I know…and pretty soon she gonna run out of money.
Passenger #2: Really?
Passenger #1: Yeah, I told her too many times ain't nobody gonna want a senior citizen as a prostitute.
Passenger #2: Damn.

Greyhound Bus

Woman to kids, after explaining the basic importance of voting: And remember… We always vote Republican because the Democrats are godless.

Voting Line
Bozeman, Montana

Overheard by: Justin