On Water?

Girl #1: You don't even like Jesus.
Girl #2: I don't like Jesus, but I like the way he walks.

San Francisco, California

Posted on January 23, 2009
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Jesus, Names, San Francisco

…of Color

Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.

Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Posted on January 22, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Names, New Hampshire, Old folks, Politics, Restaurants, Women

The Good News Is, the Smell of Poop Makes Me Read

Girl: I shat my pants at a Barnes & Noble once.
Guy: Could it be because you ate scallops?
Girl: No, it's because the smell of books makes me poop.

Denny's
Vincennes, Indiana

Posted on January 22, 2009
Books, Default, Food, Girls, Guys, Indiana, Names, Poop, Questions, Restaurants

Survivor Finally Jumps the Shark.

Indie girl to friend: And then, as revenge, Jess urinated in her Nutella jar.

Train
Wollongong
Australia

Posted on January 18, 2009
Australia, Default, Feelings, Girls, Names, Pee, Train, Weirdness

How You Know It's Time for a Vacation

Waitress: That comes with a side salad.
Woman at booth: I'll have a salad with ranch.
(10 minutes later)
Woman at booth: What is this?
Waitress: Your salad?
Woman at booth, loudly sobbing: I ordered a Caesar salad!
Waitress, at the top of her lungs: We have other salads! We have other salads! They are in the fridge!

Restaurant
Boardman, Ohio

Posted on January 15, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Names, Ohio, Questions, Restaurants, Women

While Black Eyeliner Is the New Jersey State Bird

Goth girl to friend: You have to know your ChapStick! ChapStick is the Colorado state bird!

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on January 12, 2009
Birds, Colorado, Default, Geography, Girls, Goths, Names

You Can Cut the Irony With a Knife

Guy: She's pregnant? Isn't she like 16?
Chick: So?
Guy: That's so ghetto!
Chick: So what? Every pregnant 16-year-old is some ghetto welfare mama? For all you know she could be a great mom! You're too fucking judgmental!
Guy: (stunned silence)
Chick: Anyway, she found out it's a girl last week. She's naming her “Sequins.”

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on January 9, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Girls, Guys, Names, Questions

When He Said “Yes,” You Knew He Was a Terrorist and You Had to Defend Yourself

Girl #1: I love how every time I make a scenario where I'm around Stephen I scream in his face and force him to be sexual with me. Except for that time I rubbed against him in a non-sexual way to cure any illnesses I have.
Girl #2: There was that time you stabbed him in the thigh too.
Girl #1: Really? Why did I do that?
Girl #2: You just wanted to know his dog's name and if he likes pita bread.
Girl #1: Ohhh…yeah.

Asheville, North Carolina

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on December 10, 2008
Animals, Default, Food, Girls, Names, North Carolina, Relationships, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness

His Farts Are Delicately Scented With Botanicals

Guy to girl: So you heard about Dave, right? His girlfriend broke up with him last night. He got completely wasted and tried to kill himself by drinking a bottle of shampoo.
Girl: Oh my god! Is he okay?
Guy: Yeah, turns out you cant kill yourself by drinking shampoo. We're calling him “bubbles” now. He'll never live this down.

Lockport, New York

Overheard by: evan

Posted on November 30, 2008
Default, Girls, Guys, Murder, Names, New York, Questions, Relationships, Stupidity

Mike Hunt Fights the Temptation to Change His Name

Older lady customer: Are you Chris?
Manager guy: No, I'm Mike.
Older lady customer: Are you Carl?
Manager guy: No, I'm still Mike.

Perkins Restaurant
Westfall, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Veronica @ http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Posted on November 20, 2008
Customers, Default, Employees, Guys, Mental illnesses, Names, Pennsylvania, Questions, Restaurants, Women

Names