New Jersey

Little girl, singing: You got a fat butt, you got a fat butt!
Mother: Now sweetie, that's not nice to say about mommy.
Little boy: But its true!

Dressing Room
Union, New Jersey

Overheard by: Sarah

Old man #1: Oh my god! You’re still alive?!
Old man #2: Well, yeah, ya old fuck!

Hoboken, New Jersey

Overheard by: Wendy GK

Out-patient guy: I am totally embracing this program with both feet first.

Rehab
Parsippany, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mary Beth

Girl: Every time I walk into Stop ‘N Shop and get a whiff of Irish Spring I think of your testicles.

Seton Hall University
South Orange, New Jersey

Overheard by: Never will think of Irish Spring the same way again

Teenage girl to friend: I want a boy. If I get a girl I'm going to shove her back in.

New Jersey

Girl #1: Dude, my phone is ringing but I don't want to pick it up…I'm too high right now.
Girl #2: Pick it up, it may be important.
Girl #1 (picking it up): Hello? (hangs up)
Girl #2: Well, who was it?
Girl #1: I don't know, just a bunch of voices.

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Overheard by: Zboots1

7-year old kid #1: It's raining.
7-year old kid #2: The hurricanes are upon us, bitch!
7-year old kid #1, after long pause: It's raining.

New Jersey

Overheard by: it was raining

Professor of Physiological Psychology: … And that’s why you go down to the crackhouse with a wad of cash.

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Mom, giving toddler a stocking: That’ll keep you quiet for a minute. [Toddler starts stretching it over his face.] Awww, that’s so cute. Are you gonna go rob a bank?

DSW Shoes
New Jersey

Overheard by: Unburdened shoe shopper

Older man to friend: I don't like being murdered! Do you know how it feels like to be murdered? Trust me, you don't want to know. I'm always being murdered.

Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: uhh am I seeing ghosts?