Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.
Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey
Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.
Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey
Conductor: Next and final stop: Atlantic City, folks!
(several passengers give confused and bewildered looks)
Conductor: Yeah, I changed my mind. I don't like Trenton.
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: passenger
Guy jogging around track with friends: Well, if it's still alive we can't eat it, can we?
Robbinsville High School
New Jersey
Women #1: Oh, I know why I feel crappy–cramps.
Woman #2: Ew! Me too. Very PMS-y. Craving Cheetos.
Woman #1: That's serious.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Fat guy: You wanna see a hot picture?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I wanna see a hot picture.
Fat guy: It’s me with no shirt on… And I was rubbin’ m’nipples.
Columbia High School
Maplewood, New Jersey
Husband: I'm good at finding little kids' panties.
Wife: That's not a quality that you should announce.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Man to friend: She makes me want to cheat on my wife in front of my wife.
Exchange Place, New Jersey
Overheard by: John
Girl: First, string cheese. Then masturbation!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Guy: My mom hit my dad with a frying pan. He doesn't have a cheek anymore. It's been entirely restructured. She used to beat the shit out of him! It was so funny. But when he drunk–that's when she'd get a beating.
Girl, sympathetically: Your family…
Guy: Oh, I love my family! I don't know what I'd do without them!
Neptune City, New Jersey
Girl: I haven't drank since New Year's.
Friend: That was yesterday, Tina*.
Jersey City, New Jersey
