New York

Little girl on merry-go-round, addressing her horse: Go left!

Upstate New York

Overheard by: Coyote

Angry coffee drinker: He referred to his last sexual congress as “being balls-deep” in his lady.
Amused coffee drinker: Something tells me she was no lady.
Angry coffee drinker: That's what you take away from that?

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Little boy, pointing to a box of cereal: What's this?
Mom: Cocoa Krispies. It's chocolate-flavored Rice Krispies.
Little boy: Oh my god!

Stop & Shop
Mamaroneck, New York

Overheard by: Diana

Employee #1: Are you filling in for Jane*?
Employee #2: Yeah, is she okay?
Employee #1: Yeah, she's all right. Apparently her stalker's in town so she just had to go to the precinct and file all these reports.
Employee #2: Jane* has a stalker? That is fabulous and terrifying all at once.

Yoga Studio
Manhattan, New York

Surgeon: Hey, I need to change the big, sticky plastic dressing on your arm. Wanna go slow or do it in one fell swoop?
Patient, looking at dressing covering length of arm: Nahhh, that ain't gon' be no wonton soup…

Jamaica Hospital

Overheard by: MS3

Preppy girl #1: So, Emily's a total slut.
Preppy girl #2: I know, right?
Preppy guy: Wait, what's she like?
Preppy girl #1: Umm, like, a d.
Preppy girl #2: No, no, no: double d.
Preppy guy: I was talking about her personality, but thanks…

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Composition professor: So, by the way, this is how your do the top of the paper–title, dash, name, just like this paper here. I don't want a four-page paper which is three and a half pages long, with a half-page heading.
Student: But it's standard MLA citation practice for that heading to be like that.
Professor: Fuck MLA.

Hofstra University
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: I hate MLA

Father to son spending too long to wipe off boo boo with blankie: Do you know the definition of insanity?
Four-year-old son: Yes.

Mount Vernon, New York

Overly loud tween boy: Yeah, but at least he put it in.
Teacher: Shut up back there.

Monticello, New York

Overheard by: Not the right thing to accidentally shout out during a breif silence

Woman to friend: That would never happen. Not even in a fairytale you wrote your goddamn self would that happen.

Buffalo, New York