New York

Professor: Do you ever wonder why men have nipples? Men use their large chests to attract women, like peacocks. But why the nipples? It's not like someone's going to be sucking on my nipple…

Oswego, New York

Loud black guy at pharmacy counter to friend: You know why they got that, right? (points to sign about restrictions on liquid cough medicine sales) Cos people are using them to make methamphetamine. Mm-hmm, if you mix that up you can make methamphetamine. (looks around, whispers to friend, they laugh) You don't see any brothers doing that shit, that's all I'm saying.

CVS
New Rochelle, New York

Guy in stall #1: Hi, how are you?
Guy in stall #2: Fine. Thanks.
Guy in stall #1: So what are you up to?
Guy in stall #2: Uh, the same as you.
Guy in stall #1: Can I come over?
Guy in stall #2: What the hell? I'm a little busy right now, freak!
Guy in stall #1: Listen, let me call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering my questions.

Restaurant Bathroom
Manhattan, New York

While Muscular Christianity's More Of a Gay Gym Boy

Tall girl to short girl: You make religion sound like the skinny kid you didn't go to prom with.

Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Lissette

Man: Who doesn't love a blowjob!?
Woman: The woman on her knees with a dick in her mouth.
Man: Huh? Really?
Woman: Duhhh!

Manhattan, New York

Boy: Let's play Heads Up, Seven Up!
Girl #1: Let's play Around the World!
Girl #2: Let's play Mum Ball!
Boy: Let's all play Strip Solitaire!
Teacher: I told you: there's no fun allowed in here!

Penn Yan Academy
New York

Overheard by: Rachel Bz.

College girl: We blew a fuse in our room last night. Just in our room, not the rest of the hall.
Science professor: And what did you do to solve this problem?
College girl: I cried.
Professor: That doesn't solve the problem!
College girl: Well, half of my hair was dry and the other half wasn't!
Professor: You were not bilaterally symmetrical. That can be a problem.

Keuka College
New York

Overheard by: Rachel Bz.

Little Tommy Lee Had Quite the Ego.

Seven-year-old in underwear in dressing room, doing pelvis thrusts: Look at my horse! My horse is amazing!

Target
Ithaca, New York

Little boy: My legs are melting! My legs are melting!

Target
White Plains, New York

Young woman #1: So we just left her in there with the stallions for like four hours. She still doesn't know anything about it.
Young woman #2: Oh my gosh, you never told her? I'm going to tell her next time I see her.
Young woman #1: No, don't tell her! She doesn't drink, so she'd just be like, “waaahhh, what did you guys do to me?”
Young woman #2: Oh, right.

Upstate New York