Old woman on bus: I have a skirt like that.
Young professional woman: Really?
Old woman: I can't wear it. I can't wear skirts that short. I'm too old.
Young professional: Oh.
Old woman: But it cost a lot, so I wore it as a halloween costume.
Young professional: Really.
Old woman: Everyone thought I was a hooker.
Portland, Oregon
Frustrated professor: I wanted to go back and eat my own flesh.
Portland, Oregon
Mom to daughter: See? That’s why we don’t laugh in this family — you go and suffocate on your own vomit!
Portland, Oregon
Teen girl: He was lying on my boobs and he said he could hear them talking.
Salem Center Mall
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Tess Miller
Eight-year-old boy to eight-year-old girl: You have to go to college! Otherwise you'll have to work in the poop factory!
Eight-year-old girl: There's no such thing as the poop factory!
Six-year-old brother: Yes there is! Remember?
Portland, Oregon
Sixteen-year-old blonde goth: I think I want to be a lesbian.
Teenage friend: I thought you were one.
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Geneva
Man on cell, laughing: You don't need a chair! Your ass is so big you can sit on the ground! (pause, then enamored) Aw, I love that laugh. You know I wanna marry that laugh. (defensive) Why do you do that? You always do that when I try to share my feelings with you!
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: facepalm
