Mom with eight-month-old to other parents with small child: Yeah, I've already told his dad he's going to have to give him some sort of remedial breast lessons when he's older…he's bad with the boobies.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Raina
Mom with eight-month-old to other parents with small child: Yeah, I've already told his dad he's going to have to give him some sort of remedial breast lessons when he's older…he's bad with the boobies.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Raina
Girl, exiting SAT test: So how'd it go?
Friend, excitedly: I drew a bunny!
SAT Testing Center
Eugene, Oregon
Girl to guy she just met: My mom found out I had been having anal sex. She kept repeating “that's an exit, not an entrance.” I told her how much fun it was, and that she should try it.
University of Oregon
Loud fat man on bus: When I first found out I had diabetes, I had my wife go out and buy me a big case of pudding cups. I opened each one up and poured them into a tub with some milk.
Friend: Oh?
Loud fat man on bus: My mother-in-law didn't believe I could eat it, but I sat down in front of her and drank the whole thing, just to spite her.
Portland, Oregon
Woman, holding up holiday card: This card is perfect! It says exactly what I want! (reads typical greeting card poem)
Man: Wow, it really says that?
Woman: Well, I made part of it up.
Fred Meyer Store
Oregon
Ditzy girl: I was so scared! Like, really, really scared. I was like: “please be a virgin, please be a virgin!”
Eugene, Oregon
Obnoxious teenage boy: No, that guy's really weird. I mean, did you hear what he did last year?
Friends: No.
Obnoxious teenage boy: He took a slice of cheese and two pieces of ham. Then he got a pair of socks and he put them in an aquarium…
Eugene, Oregon
Dude on streetcar: Anybody on the bus got a newspaper?
Friend: Dude, this is a streetcar.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad this town has transit options
Girl #1: So, during history I was blowing bubbles with my gum and…
Girl #2: Who's bubbles?
Girl #1 (continuing, uninterrupted): I got it all over my glasses just as my history teacher looks at me! He just stood up there laughing for a good five minutes, and no one knew what he was laughing at because I managed to get it back in my mouth before anyone could see.
Girl #2: Wait, what?
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Completely calm girl: We're all gonna die.
Happy girl, laughing: It's true!
Eugene, Oregon
