Parenting

Middle-aged man: So the other day my friend asked me to borrow some porn tapes. He said he needed to teach his son about the birds and the bees.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/324355344/getting-straight-to-the-point.html

Overheard by: the wirled

Little girl to mother, passing brand new cherry red Porsche Carrera GT convertible: Mama, why is everyone looking at that car?
Mother: Because it's very special.
Little girl: Can I get one?
Mother: Only if you marry well, dear.

Durham, North Carolina

Female tween, following older brother swimming in restricted area: Mom, can I swim where Dave* is?
Mom: No! Swim back over to the shore.
Female tween, in nasal whine: Oh. Myyyyy. God!
Mom: Hey, I gave birth to you. I am your god!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/supreme-being.html

Overheard by: matt.

Mom to preteen son: If you don't straighten up your act, I'm sending you back to school with all Hannah Montana notebooks!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/353019058/wouldnt-he-enjoy-that.html

Overheard by: that'll teach him

Mom to two little kids sitting directly behind her on the train: Do you feel a little bit better now that you've got slight independence?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Overheard by: They were the best behaved children there that day.

Little girl: And then we had orgies.
Mother, very calmly: No honey, we had origami.

Florida

Child eating skeleton fruit snacks: Mommy, look! I'm eating a boner!

Disney World
Florida

Spanish teacher, teaching tenses: If your parents were away, what would you do?
Student: I would do Jeff!
(class laughs)
Student: No, I mean I would invite Jeff over!
Spanish teacher: That doesn't make it sound any better.

High School
Concord, North Carolina

Overheard by: Mary

Father to three-year-old daughter, after she took her shirt off: Just like your mother.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/310140762/i-want-to-hang-out-with-her-mother.html

Overheard by: is that how you met her?

Mother to sixteen year-old in booty shorts and Uggs: You can be a geisha girl! It goes all the way down to the floor!

Halloween Store
New Jersey