We Were Only Growing You for the Organs, Anyway

Dad: Buddy, you have to breathe. You can't hold your breath forever.
Son: No! I'm never going to breathe again. I hate it!
Dad: Sounds good.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/368530938/thats-one-way-to-solve-it.html

Overheard by: kaybay

Posted on January 9, 2010
Dads, Family, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Overheard in Minneapolis, Parenting, Should have used a condom, Stupidity

Gin?

Middle-aged father to waitress, about loud toddler daughter: It's an emergency. We need some happy juice.

Restaurant
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: silver

Posted on January 8, 2010
Baristas, Colorado, Dads, Food, Kids, Offers and requests, Parenting, Restaurants, Should have used a condom

…And Pour Some More Bailey's Into My Mug.

Store employee: Would you like to try a free sample of hot cocoa?
Nine-year-old daughter, impatient: Come on, mom! We need to get to your appointment!
Mom: Shut up! There's always time for free cocoa. Here!
Nine-year-old daughter: I don't want any.
Mom: Then just shut up.

Minnetonka, Minnesota

Posted on December 30, 2009
Employees, Food, Kids, Minnesota, Moms, Parenting, Wishes

You Are Now Qualified to Work at McDonald's

Five-year-old daughter: Daddy, ask me some math questions.
Father: Okay, what is 4 x 4?
Five-year-old daughter: It's not 9!
Father: That's correct.

McDonald's
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Michael Moore

Posted on December 28, 2009
Dads, Education, Kids, McDonald's, New York, Parenting, Questions, Science

…With a Real Girl.

Six-year-old boy, firmly groping mannequin's backside: I'm popular! I'm popular! Look, mommy!
Flustered mom: Go be popular over there!

Morganton, North Carolina

Overheard by: Carla

Posted on December 22, 2009
Kids, Moms, North Carolina, Parenting, Should have used a condom

…From Your Leash.

Mother, chasing fleeing toddler across library: Stop! Come back! You have separation anxiety!

Christchuch
New Zealand

Overheard by: I suspect it's the other way around…

Posted on December 18, 2009
Feelings, Kids, Moms, New Zealand, Parenting

So We're Giving Him My Anal Fisting Videos and Hoping He Can Extrapolate

Middle-aged man: So the other day my friend asked me to borrow some porn tapes. He said he needed to teach his son about the birds and the bees.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/324355344/getting-straight-to-the-point.html

Overheard by: the wirled

Posted on December 12, 2009
Birds, Education, Guys, Insects, Kids, Offers and requests, Overheard in Minneapolis, Parenting, Porn

It's Times Hard in the Islamic Republic Of North Carolina

Little girl to mother, passing brand new cherry red Porsche Carrera GT convertible: Mama, why is everyone looking at that car?
Mother: Because it's very special.
Little girl: Can I get one?
Mother: Only if you marry well, dear.

Durham, North Carolina

Posted on December 10, 2009
Feelings, Kids, Moms, North Carolina, Parenting, Questions

Then Why Haven't You Helped Me Win Any Grammys?

Female tween, following older brother swimming in restricted area: Mom, can I swim where Dave* is?
Mom: No! Swim back over to the shore.
Female tween, in nasal whine: Oh. Myyyyy. God!
Mom: Hey, I gave birth to you. I am your god!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/supreme-being.html

Overheard by: matt.

Posted on December 9, 2009
God, Moms, Offers and requests, Overheard in PDX, Parenting, Tweens

And a That's So Raven Thermos!

Mom to preteen son: If you don't straighten up your act, I'm sending you back to school with all Hannah Montana notebooks!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/353019058/wouldnt-he-enjoy-that.html

Overheard by: that'll teach him

Posted on December 5, 2009
About celebrities, Education, Kids, Moms, Overheard in Minneapolis, Parenting, Threats

Parenting