Man: Did I ever tell you about the time that a tick got stuck under the foreskin of my friend’s penis?
Port-A-Potty
http://weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com/2007/02/tick-talk.html
Man: Did I ever tell you about the time that a tick got stuck under the foreskin of my friend’s penis?
Port-A-Potty
http://weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com/2007/02/tick-talk.html
Lady suit: I hate to say it, but Harry Potter’s penis is small.
Hipster girl: What! Nooo!
Lady suit: No, really — it is. He got an erection on stage… and it was just sad. But the weirdest part is that it was bright red, like they had put blush on it or something.
Hipster girl: What the fuck?! My dreams are ruined!
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/goblet-of-fire.html
Chick #1, squinting at laptop: Is that a squirrel?
Chick #2: No. That’s a penis.
Starbucks
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Awkward!
Old man: You got bats in your belfry?
Jaded 20-something: Yeah, I don't know what I've got in my belfry…
Jersey City, New Jersey
Girlfriend: That's your last drink tonight.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Why? Because I don't want to fuck a limp dick and then deal with you shitting yourself again. That's why.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Deedle
Coed to another: It's someone picking their nose… but in the thumbnail it looked like a penis
SUNY
New Paltz, New York
Guy #1: So I sent her a picture of my junk.
Guy #2: Right.
Guy #1: Problem solved.
Sandusky, Ohio
Agriculture student #1: So she starts screaming and I just knew, so I said, “did you search for “hot dog” without using the safety search?”
Agriculture student #2: Oh, no, hot dog without a fig leaf?
Agriculture student #1: Yeah! And you know how she is, so she starts screaming and freaking out. But it wasn't even a human, it was a dog…
University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
Bro: We don't put shaving cream on our dicks, we put it on our faces.
Illinois State University
Overheard by: Eddy
