Girlfriend: That's your last drink tonight.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Why? Because I don't want to fuck a limp dick and then deal with you shitting yourself again. That's why.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Deedle
Girlfriend: That's your last drink tonight.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Why? Because I don't want to fuck a limp dick and then deal with you shitting yourself again. That's why.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Deedle
Coed to another: It's someone picking their nose… but in the thumbnail it looked like a penis
SUNY
New Paltz, New York
Guy #1: So I sent her a picture of my junk.
Guy #2: Right.
Guy #1: Problem solved.
Sandusky, Ohio
Agriculture student #1: So she starts screaming and I just knew, so I said, “did you search for “hot dog” without using the safety search?”
Agriculture student #2: Oh, no, hot dog without a fig leaf?
Agriculture student #1: Yeah! And you know how she is, so she starts screaming and freaking out. But it wasn't even a human, it was a dog…
University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
Bro: We don't put shaving cream on our dicks, we put it on our faces.
Illinois State University
Overheard by: Eddy
20-something guy, browsing toys: So… Do I have a penis face?
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Lena
Teen girl, holding candy bar: Why does it have to be so big? I can't take all this. (pause) That's what I said!
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
