High school girl to friend: You know what I hate? Cocks.
Friend: I know! They're so annoying.


Little boy looking at swim trunks: I can’t get one with a small hole because my penis gets stuck!

Tempe, Arizona

Guy: Hey, you coming to my place? Allison wants someone to hang with who doesn’t have a penis.
Girl: Yeah, I’m coming, but I’m not sure if I fit those criteria…
Guy: Now I’m scared…
Girl: She thinks she’s getting a friend to girly-chat with, but she may just be getting an ear full of cock.

Hobart, Tasmania

Teenage girl: You know what I wish I had?
Teenage boy, not paying attention: Uh-huh.
Teenage girl: A penis… I'd just go shoving it into people's butts.
Teenage boy: Wait… What?
Teenage girl, whispering to herself: I wish I had a penis.


Distraught girl on Valentine's Day: I can't get over it, I don't care if it's a new hour. I still have the taste of dick in my mouth!

Las Vegas, Nevada

12-year-old boy, enthusiastically: I like my genitalia!

Portland, Oregon

Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it…I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.

Overheard by: overheardatyale

Grandma: I don't like these halogen lightbulbs. They are ugly, like men's penises.


Overheard by: Martha

Panhandler: Do you have any change? I need money. My old lady kicked me out. I need money for a penis… reduction… It’s too big, and she kicked me out. She said not to come back until–
Man: –No.

Guy #1: Are you gonna get tested?
Guy #2: I think the Lauren thing pretty much takes care of it.
Guy #3: You should still get tested.
Guy #2: Yeeeah, but I don’t like getting blood taken from me and I don’t have any like, symptoms, so…
Guy #3: Well, I haven’t seen your penis.

Simon Fraser University
British Columbia