Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.
Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi
Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.
Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi
Girl to friend, walking from their car: Jesus, Amber, nobody thinks you have a penis.
Nashville, Tennessee
Guy on cell: It’s easy — just grab the dick in one hand and a beer in the other!
Carmen’s Bodega
Alingsås
Sweden
Overheard by: rymden
Student: Have you ever heard of the penis game?
Female professor: Which one? I've played many penis games.
Greek Myth Class
Illinois Wesleyan University
Overheard by: problem
Girl #1: So my computer is dead, and I don't know how to fix it.
Girl #2: What do you think is wrong with it?
Girl #1: It's got a virus. But it was totally worth it.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? Why?
Girl #1: Well, Mary* and I were curious and wanted to know if midgets' dicks are normal-sized or midget-sized, so we were looking up midget porn.
Girl #2: And the verdict is?
Girl #1: They're normal-sized. This one guy was seriously a tripod. It's incredible.
Male bartender: Yeah, I can see how that would be worth a completely devastating virus on your computer. Can you write down the website you found it on?
Killarney's Pub
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Currrly!
Old lady: I'm not very hungry, I'm gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.
Lester's Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Tween: Should I get Fanta or cock?
Perth, Washington
Overheard by: shocked older sister.
Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.
High school
Utah
Student: Somebody drew a triforce in the bathroom.
Teacher: There’s a penis in the hall and now a triforce in the bathroom?
English Class
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Sam
