Penis

Guy: … So I was like, ‘Dude, just this time, you’re not allowed to suck your own dick,’ and he says,’Dude, I totally won’t.’ So I say to him, ‘Man, you’re doing it right now.’

University of British Columbia
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

High school girl: I've gone to second base with a guy, but have done pretty much everything with a girl. Because penises are scary.

Forest of Fear
Tuxedo, New York

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Gay #1: One guy likes to have his junk stepped on, but no punches in them.
Gay #2: Ow!
Gay #1: I don't like balls in my toes, though.
Gay #2: Just think of it as sand on a beach!

Starbucks
Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Scott

Girl: Yeah, but he has a really nice penis. I like to play with it while we watch movies.

overheardattcnj.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Overheard at TCNJ

Woman on cell: I just asked how’s he doing and he actually told me that he’s getting hard just talking to me. [Pause.] Well, what do you think I would say? “Oh ,that’s nice”!? Hell no! I said: “Oh crap! Sorry, I have another call, gotta go”. Yeah, that was definitely odd. Remind me never to be nice and try calling my exes again.

Florida

Pubescent boy screaming at elderly passerby: Fuck you! Fuck you! You, right there! Fuck you! (aside) Man, I gotta write an email. (screaming again) Your mother has a dick!

Eastchester, New York

Bearded dude: Yeah… I care a lot more about my penis than I do my friends.
Not quite as bearded dude: Oh, totally.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/270406952/you-know-what-they-say-about-loving-yourself.html

Overheard by: wondering if that is selfish, or self preservation…

Female college student: Do boys still really have cooties at thirteen?
Male college student: Nope. That’s when they get penises.

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Meghan

Man: Did I ever tell you about the time that a tick got stuck under the foreskin of my friend’s penis?

Port-A-Potty
http://weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com/2007/02/tick-talk.html

Lady suit: I hate to say it, but Harry Potter’s penis is small.
Hipster girl: What! Nooo!
Lady suit: No, really — it is. He got an erection on stage… and it was just sad. But the weirdest part is that it was bright red, like they had put blush on it or something.
Hipster girl: What the fuck?! My dreams are ruined!

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/goblet-of-fire.html