There's Nothing Like Mourning Sex

Young Spanish guy: So yeah, I met up with my ex Becky last night, we ended up having sex behind the pharmacy.
Young white guy: I asked you to come hang out yesterday but you said you had your grandpa's funeral!
Young Spanish guy: I did have the funeral, but that was in the morning.
Young white guy: So you had time to fuck Becky behind the pharmacy but no time to hang out with me? Besides, you said you were close to your grandpa. Shouldn't you have been mourning?
Young Spanish guy: So… does this mean I don't get a high five?
Young white guy: *grudgingly high fives*.

Movie Theatre, Ottawa
Canada

Overheard by: Ash

Posted on July 29, 2015
Canadia, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Foreigners, Guys, Memory lane, Relationships, Sex, Time Management

I’m Considering Reaching Out to Her With a Fifty Caliber Rifle

Man #1: How’s your wife?
Man #2: How should I know?
Man #1: What do you mean: “How should I know?”? She’s your wife! Don’t you talk to her?
Man #2: Not since she got the restraining order on me.

Huxley, Iowa

Overheard by: Hondo

Posted on July 26, 2015
Crimes, Default, Friends, Guys, Iowa, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

The Bastard Sunk My Battleship

Girl on cell: I think the relationship really started going downhill when he took Western Australia from me.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 25, 2015
Default, Feelings, Games, Girls, On the phone, Relationships, Washington

But the Fox Would Never Forgive Me

Man with strange beard to friend: My girlfriend would love me forever if I got her a fox's skull.

London
England

Posted on July 24, 2015
Animals, England, Guys, Relationships, Violence, Weirdness

In Michigan It's Always the 1950s

Girl #1: We have to deal with it for nine months!
Girl #2: At least we get to be bitches for no reason.
Girl #1: Yeah, my boyfriend's basically a slave.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: …I knew it!

Posted on July 20, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Girls, Michigan, Pregnancy, Relationships

It Can Be a Lot Of Fun If You Tap Dance During All the Court Proceedings

Guy, to girl: Why don't you like to get divorced?

Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on July 18, 2015
Canadia, Default, Feelings, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

As Seen in Douching Miss Daisy

Greenpeace activist to couple walking out of grocery store: Are you guys concerned about our environment?
Elderly couple: Definitely! We recycle, and we take showers together!

Mothers Market
Costa Mesa, California

Overheard by: arie

Posted on July 17, 2015
Bathing, California, Couples, Default, Old folks, People, Questions, Relationships, Stores

Don't Think I Didn't Learn About Heteronormativity in Preschool

Young boy to mother, after getting cup of tea: Oh, what's this? A cup of tea for me? Are you married? Pah! I don't want your married germs!

Akaroa French Fest
New Zealand

Posted on July 17, 2015
Health & Hygiene, New Zealand, Questions, Relationships

Baby, You're the H1N1 for Me

Girl to guy: Don't hug me. I'm sick.
Guy to girl: Me too!
(pause)
Girl to guy: Yay! (hugs)

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: apparently sick people can't get worse

Posted on July 16, 2015
Girls, Guys, Maladies, Michigan, Relationships, Weirdness

A Big Rock or a Little Rock?

Girl on cell: I love you. I do. I love you more than weed. Do you believe me? You know how much I love weed, right? Well, I love you more… If you had the choice between me and a rock, what would you choose? Me, I love you more than weed. I really do.

Overheard by: miss_jaffacake@lj

Posted on July 15, 2015
Drugs, On the phone, Relationships

Relationships