I’m Considering Reaching Out to Her With a Fifty Caliber Rifle

Man #1: How’s your wife?
Man #2: How should I know?
Man #1: What do you mean: “How should I know?”? She’s your wife! Don’t you talk to her?
Man #2: Not since she got the restraining order on me.

Huxley, Iowa

Overheard by: Hondo

Posted on July 26, 2015
Crimes, Default, Friends, Guys, Iowa, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

The Bastard Sunk My Battleship

Girl on cell: I think the relationship really started going downhill when he took Western Australia from me.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 25, 2015
Default, Feelings, Games, Girls, On the phone, Relationships, Washington

But the Fox Would Never Forgive Me

Man with strange beard to friend: My girlfriend would love me forever if I got her a fox's skull.

London
England

Posted on July 24, 2015
Animals, England, Guys, Relationships, Violence, Weirdness

In Michigan It's Always the 1950s

Girl #1: We have to deal with it for nine months!
Girl #2: At least we get to be bitches for no reason.
Girl #1: Yeah, my boyfriend's basically a slave.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: …I knew it!

Posted on July 20, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Girls, Michigan, Pregnancy, Relationships

It Can Be a Lot Of Fun If You Tap Dance During All the Court Proceedings

Guy, to girl: Why don't you like to get divorced?

Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on July 18, 2015
Canadia, Default, Feelings, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

As Seen in Douching Miss Daisy

Greenpeace activist to couple walking out of grocery store: Are you guys concerned about our environment?
Elderly couple: Definitely! We recycle, and we take showers together!

Mothers Market
Costa Mesa, California

Overheard by: arie

Posted on July 17, 2015
Bathing, California, Couples, Default, Old folks, People, Questions, Relationships, Stores

Don't Think I Didn't Learn About Heteronormativity in Preschool

Young boy to mother, after getting cup of tea: Oh, what's this? A cup of tea for me? Are you married? Pah! I don't want your married germs!

Akaroa French Fest
New Zealand

Posted on July 17, 2015
Health & Hygiene, New Zealand, Questions, Relationships

Baby, You're the H1N1 for Me

Girl to guy: Don't hug me. I'm sick.
Guy to girl: Me too!
(pause)
Girl to guy: Yay! (hugs)

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: apparently sick people can't get worse

Posted on July 16, 2015
Girls, Guys, Maladies, Michigan, Relationships, Weirdness

A Big Rock or a Little Rock?

Girl on cell: I love you. I do. I love you more than weed. Do you believe me? You know how much I love weed, right? Well, I love you more… If you had the choice between me and a rock, what would you choose? Me, I love you more than weed. I really do.

Overheard by: miss_jaffacake@lj

Posted on July 15, 2015
Drugs, On the phone, Relationships

…How's That for a Birthday Card?

Tough guy who waxes his eyebrows: Yeah, my old girlfriend was smart. She didn't let me take any pictures or videotape her while we were fucking. This new chick…if she's ever famous, I'm rich!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 11, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Money, Pennsylvania, Relationships, Sexuality, Weirdness

Relationships