Woman to man: She said that if she leaves her husband, I can have the handcuffs.
UC Berkeley’s campus
Berkeley, California
Woman to man: She said that if she leaves her husband, I can have the handcuffs.
UC Berkeley’s campus
Berkeley, California
Townie to his friend: Yeah well, just because you don’t like your fat wife doesn’t mean I don’t!
Plaza Restaurant
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That’s a very personal question. That’s like if I asked you, “Has it started yet?”
Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: heerothewizard
Cute girl to other cute girls: Yeah, she needs a couple more months in LA until we can be friends with her…
Los Angeles, California
Smug TA: While I was with her I was doing crack. She had no idea.
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Girl #1: At least he didn’t say what JD said to me the other night. He said I was boring in the bedroom because I didn’t try new things.
Girl #2: Oh my god!
Girl #1: Yeah and I told him, well how am I supposed to know what to do? I was a virgin before you. Well, not literally a virgin, but close enough!
Girl #2: So what are you going to do?
Girl #1: Well, I told him that when we go on vacation, we can have a threesome. But it has to be someone I’ll never see again.
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: Slutgers Girl
Serious drunk guy: I made babies with a woman!
BrewFest
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Drunk Girl
Blonde clone: It’s not that we’re both Leos. He’s just a dick.
Westfield Mall
San Diego, California
Dude: Hey I’m Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I’m Lauren*. We’ve met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other’s name since we’re talking about anal.
The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: just here for the show
Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can’t tell her! I’ve kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she’ll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don’t like musicals?!
Bruin Walk, UCLA
California
Overheard by: if that’s the worst thing in your relationship…
