Bottom Line: It Tastes Like Shit.

Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: “Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!” Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes…
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!

New Jersey

Posted on October 13, 2009
Compare and contrast, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Questions, Relationships, Smokers, Smoking

Or Clean Up the Blood Again

Girl #1: So my mom is getting married to that guy she met on the internet.
Girl #2: Internet? He might be a serial killer!
Girl #1: Yeah, but she lives in Florida, so at least I don't have to hear about it.

Bathrooms
Cinema, Illinois

Posted on October 8, 2009
Family ties, Girls, Illinois, Internet, Murder, Parenting, Relationships, Restroom

Or Jail, Yeah

Teenage girl #1: Anyway, I just need to talk to him.
Teenage girl #2: Mmm-hmm.
Teenage girl #1: But I barely ever see him!
Teenage girl #2: Yeah.
Teenage girl #1: I have to meet him in a mutual place, y'know?
Teenage girl #2: …like a box?

Perth
Australia

Posted on October 6, 2009
Australia, Girls, Questions, Relationships, Teens, Weirdness

Your Editors All Have Bulletproof Alibis

High school girl: There was way too much drama in sixth grade. All my friends were always talking about how their boyfriends knocked someone up. I'm like, “you're twelve years old! Get over it!”

Greenbelt, Maryland

Posted on September 30, 2009
Age and ageing, Education, Girls, Maryland, Pregnancy, Relationships, Students, Weirdness

After They Moved Him, I Found Five Dollars Under the Cushion!

Woman #1, at party: Oh, hi, Lisa, how are you?
Woman #2, shrugging: Okay, I guess.
Woman #1: Where's your husband? Did you bring John with you?
Woman #2: Oh, you didn't hear? John died two weeks ago. He died sitting in his chair.

Kentucky

Posted on September 23, 2009
Death & dying, Family ties, Kentucky, Questions, Relationships, Women

But They Get Mad When I Try to Study Them

Guy #1: So how's your women studies class going?
Guy #2: Good! There's so many fine bitches.

Subway
Manhattan, New York

Posted on September 23, 2009
Education, Guys, New York, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

According to Their Publicists

Passerby to two women getting off elevator with a double stroller with white and black babies: Uh-oh!
Women: Oh, it's okay. They're just friends.

Elevator, Westchester Mall
White Plains, New York

Posted on September 13, 2009
Kids, Malls, Moms, New York, Race, Relationships, Strangers

And Occasionally Fellate.

Guy: So who are you meeting here? Some friends?
Girl, sighing: I wouldn't necessarily call them my friends, they're just people I eat with.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Wait, what?

Posted on September 13, 2009
Food, Girls, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Washington, DC

She Doesn't Deserve a Prince Like Me

Guy #1, during a college basketball game: Dude! I saw my ex, Bea, down there!
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: Yeah. She got fat! Fuck you, bitch! (high fives guy #1)

Araneta Coliseum
Manila
The Philippines

Overheard by: VM

Posted on September 11, 2009
Asia, Death & dying, Guys, Insults, Relationships

All He Knows Is “The Girl with the Binoculars”

Eleven-year-old girl to friends: I know him but he doesn't know me.

The Drive
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Fred

Posted on September 9, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Friends, Kids, Relationships

Relationships