Relationships

Man outside bar: Look man, I love my wife, I do. But I swear to god, I wish she were dead.

http://overheardinjxn.blogspot.com/2005/09/overheard-in-parking-lot-outside-bar.html

Overheard by: Ian

Middle aged woman: I'm going to walk in there one day and say to Agnes: “I'm *married*.”

Shropshire
England

Overheard by: martinb

Girl #1: Uhh…is someone gonna tell girlfriend over there her g-string is showing?
Girl #2: How does she not know? I don't know about everyone else, but I feel breeze!
Girl #1: I feel breeze!
Girl #2: Can't she feel breeze?
Girl #1: She has to feel breeze!

http://overheardinsydney.blogspot.com/2006/02/visible-panty-string.html

Overheard by: Ian

Girl #1: I need a new guy. That's not fair! He was able to recuperate real fast.
Girl #2: Yeah. Well, he had a girlfriend.

Texas

Girl #1: I don't know, I mean…he's not the best looking.
Girl #2: Yeah, but neither is she. I mean, she can be…
Girl #1: Yeah, I mean, he's not really good looking, and she's not pretty-pretty, y'know?
Girl #2: I guess. I mean, I guess they fit together. What's her name anyway?
Girl #1: I don't know, “r” something.

http://overheardatlc.blogspot.com

Overheard by:

Lunching law firm girl #1: Oh god, when it comes to my track record… Seriously, I've dated two vampires and a guy who thought he was Jim Morrison reincarnated.
Lunching law firm girl #2: That's ridiculous. (pause) My junior year high school English teacher was Jim Morrison reincarnated. God!

Quizno's
Tucson, Arizona

Woman #1: We went to a club together one time and they were still dating, and he kept trying to kiss me. Well, I refused to. But then my cell phone got stolen and I was mad, so we made out. A lot.
Woman #2: You made out with him because your phone got stolen?
Woman #1: Yeah, basically. I was pissed and trying to have a good night, and he's very attractive. So I was like, “let's go!”
Woman #2: I think you're my hero.
Woman #1: I'm supposed to go to a concert with him next week.
Woman #2: Well, don't lose your wallet, because then you'll have to do him.

Fayetteville, North Carolina

Overheard by: James

Crying girl to boyfriend: But I love you! You love me!
Boyfriend: Listen very carefully to me. I fucked her. You shouldn't have been a bitch to me about your friends. Now you can get over this and stop being a bitch and we can go get dinner and ice cream and then go home and fuck like sexy little drunk bunnies, or you can keep it up and find yourself without a boyfriend. Your call. Move on and be in love with me, or be a bitch and get dumped.
Girlfriend, still crying: I'm sorry.
Boyfriend: I know. It's okay.

Atlanta, Georgia

Drunk college girl: She doesn't use tampons because she doesn't want anything up there except her husband's dick? So, if she used tampons she'd be like, “Oh, I'm sorry honey, I lost my virginity to a cotton stick?” What a retard!

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Megan

Man on cell: So now he thinks that I'm into her, and then she thinks that I'm a child molester…exactly.

Walnut Creek, California

Overheard by: Mod