Princess at front of bus: … And I went through seven laptops in high school.
Passenger: Oh, yeah? I went through ten laptops in high school!
Princess, offended: It’s rude to eavesdrop, you know!
5 bus
San Francisco, California
Archive for the ‘San Francisco’ Category
Yeah, I’ve Had to Tell Tommy Hilfiger’s People No
Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that’s what they’re called… You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.]
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Rich
Are Public Rammings Unusual in San Francisco?
Cop on radio: We’ve gotten a report from race security that there is a large Viking ship being rammed repeatedly into some garbage cans in the park.
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: geek whisperer
Somebody’s Husband Wasn’t Properly Fed and Watered
Hipster girl to friend: I heard the most offensive thing in Crate & Barrel!
San Francisco, California
…Before She Finds Out You’re a Mute!
Man walking down street: Dude… your woman just said “we need to talk.” You need to get the fuck out of there right now!
San Francisco, California
So Gay Men Aren’t the Target Demograpic for That?
Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good…
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn’t this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I’m getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don’t really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It’s gross. We’re just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I’ve heard all day.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: TMI
I Don’t Care If It Is Cardboard
50-something man to 50-something woman: You are not homeless. Homeless people don’t own dinnerware!
BART Train
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Morpheus
Try Not to Taste or Touch Them, Okay?
Automated train station announcement: Castro street station.
Excited little girl: Yay! Castro!
Bystander: The dictator or the district?
Excited little girl thinks for a second: The rainbows!
Castro Street Station
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Dawn
Takes a Man Years to Forgive Himself for Saying Such Things
Too hip 20-something: But you have to also create an environment where epic things can transpire…
Walzwerk Restaurant
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: glamour-geek
In That She’s an American in a Brit’s Body
Guy #1, after British tourists leave elevator: Stupid British bitches.
Guy #2: Wow, you hate Brits?
Guy #1: You know it.
Guy #2: But Maggie is British, and you like her.
Guy #1: Yeah, well, that’s because Maggie is a tranny.
Hotel Whitcomb
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Adam
