Professor: Isaac Newton, on his deathbed, was proud to announce that he was a virgin. So if any of you want to be famous scientists, you are going to have to be willing to make a few sacrifices.
Girl, raising hand: Um.
Professor: Oh, is it too late?
De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
Professor: How does a microwave work?
Student: Electromagnetic waves.
Professor: Oh, “electromagnetic waves”! That's a fancy way of saying “magic.”
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Magician
Male student, about an exam: What do we have to know about the external parts of the female reproductive system?
Professor: Everything! Not just for the exam, but for yourself! All of you!
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Marina
Girl #1, loudly in quiet library: And we thought we were going to the lecture on reasons to join the army, but we accidentally went to the wrong lecture theater, and it was a medical lecture on burns patients!
Studying girl: Shhhhh!
Girl #1, loudly: And this med guy who knew we weren't med students goes “This is a good lecture to come to! Lots of gory pictures!” and we were both thinking “Shit! Are these army people going to show us photos of people who have been blown up or something!?”
Studying boy and girl: Shhhhhhhh!
Girl #2: Can't be as bad as that lecture from first year. Remember the photo of the person's head who'd been run over by a train?
Girl #1, even more loudly: Yeah! And they showed us photos of a penis which had been bitten off!
(everyone in library, including studying boy and girl, burst out laughing)
Griffith University Library
Australia
Blonde student to astronomy professor: Can you tell me approximately how many stars there are in our solar system?
Wheaton College
Wheaton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amycakes
Teacher: What you get from Beatlerama depends on what you bring to it.
Science class
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: mollydear
Guy: If you could put a moose and en elk in a wind tunnel, could you work out which one generates more lift better if they were the right way up or upside down?
London
England
Overheard by: Bemused
Man eating burrito: It's like Darwinism. You know, selective… selection.
Balboa Island, California
Overheard by: Wow.
Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I’m including this part because I enjoy saying words like “anus”.
South Dakota State University
South Dakota
