Suit #1, very seriously: And she was totally fixated on Martha. So I said to Martha, who swings both ways, you know, I said: “this girl is in serious need of some fanny,” but the trouble is, she's found god.
Suit #2: The worst coitus interruptus in the world! That Martha's a complete nutjob, though.
Bookstore
Liverpool
England
Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.
University of Delaware
Professor: We must go out and procreate!
Swedish History Class
Uppsala University
Sweden
Overheard by: Amused Exchange Student
Girl on subway to friend: It'd be weird to have sex with a girl.
Friend: Yeah, you wouldn't know where everything goes.
Girl: Nothing would fit. (pause) This is probably not a subway conversation.
Toronto
Canadia
Very excited sex ed teacher on first day of class: I know you guys hear a lot of scary, nasty things about sex on tv, but I'm going to tell you something: sex is fun!
Middle School
Louisiana
Overheard by: Amused Guest
Girl shouting across room to guy at soda fountain: Hey Doug*! Hey, Doug! Come over there, they want to hear your song about buttsex!
Montevallo, Alabama
Nervous fourth grader giving oral report: Joan of Arc, the pheasant, was caught in a blender.
Elementary School
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
Curly-haired brunette: Do you ever have moments when you see someone on the street and think, “hmmm, that looks like someone I've seen in Facebook pictures!”?
Straight-haired brunette: Yeah. I also have moments when I see someone on the street and think, “haven't I slept with you?”
Curly-haired brunette: Heh. That's a classic.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Poogins
Student: It's not physical, but it's ineffable.
Professor: What does it mean? To eff something?
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-dont-know-but-ill-bet-its-physical.html
Overheard by: Ian
Dude #1: So did you fuck that chick after we left the other night?
Dude #2 (glancing around to make sure no one's listening): Yeah.
Dude #1: Yes! I knew it!
Dude #2: Dude, I didn't even know what was going on until I came outta my blackout, and realized I was balls deep.
Dude #1: Condom?
Dude #2: (shakes head)
Dude #1: Yes!
Toons Bar
Chicago, Illinois
