Smokin' hot gay guy on phone: I bought the table under the impression that it was fuck-proof. My husband challenged me last night to prove otherwise. Now my table has been fucked through and Mark* isn't talking to me right now. (pause) Yeah, it does sound like a funny problem to have, but it's really not.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The Sauce
Haggard drunk woman to group of drunk men: He says he loves me but won’t even buy me a cupcake!
Boston, Massachusetts
Drugstore cashier to another: Are the firemen here to shop? Or is someone down again?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: jamjam
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady: What?
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady oh, I thought you said something about “the last of the Apaches.”
Customer: That film was called The Last of the Mohicans.
Shop lady: What film?
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: somedaftlassie
Little boy, desperately: I need to get out of here!
Kohl's Fitting Rooms
Georgia
Overheard by: Iris
(a couple at the checkout counter buying nylons)
Girl: I’m really excited for these tights.
Guy (excessively excited): Me too!
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!
Vons
Ventura, California
Roommate #1: Do you want to go clothes shopping for spring break?
Roommate #2, making disgusted face: I don't wear clothes on spring break.
Roommate #1: (long pause)
Roommate #2: I just wear a bathing suit.
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Overheard by: Roommate #3
Shorter kid playing basketball to taller kid: Your dad bought your mom at Ikea!
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ariel
