Shopping

12-year-old girl to younger sibling: Every time you buy a Barbie they give money to the abortion place to give someone like a scholarship for an abortion. Every time you touch a barbie, it's like touching an abortion.

Toy Store
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: i now want to touch a barbie

Voice over intercom: So, come out and buy some juice and support a good cause.
Girl #1: Um, what good cause?
Girl #2: I dunno. Fruit?

High School
Calgary
Canadia

Bawling small girl in grocery store, after not getting what she asked: But, mom, I'm crying really hard!

Ingersoll Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa

Intercom: The store will be closing in 15 minutes. Please bring your purchases to the front of the store to the check-out line. We hope you enjoyed your shopping experience. Thank you for shopping at K-Mart… Shit, I mean “Wal-Mart.”

Wal-Mart
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Caitlin

Macy's sales clerk: Now this cologne is $19.99 for the large bottle and comes with the free teddy bear.
Large woman spilling out of leopard-print tube top, sniffing: This is nice… It's real classy smelling.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: I don't discriminate; I hate everybody.

Woman on cell: No no no…I haven't been doing much shopping at all. The only thing I've bought is a fur dog collar. It was only $300!

Park City, Utah

Woman on cell: I saw the most adorable little cheetah, so I bought it for her. You know, I am the one who assigns personalities to all her animals. We have a ritual.

3rd Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California

Old man pushing shopping cart, singing happily to himself: Maybe I should get an 8-million-dollar lawsuit against my own family!

Seattle, Washington

Passerby to friend (excitedly): We should so sell bottled dirt!

KSU
Manhattan, Kansas

Overheard by: Nicole

Woman: Do you have the book How to Fix Your Marriage without Words?
Saleslady: Sorry, it looks like we don't have that in stock right now.
Woman: Fuck!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Taylor